Our field work that was assigned for last week was to think of someone we could acknowledge in our life and do it. I have to admit that I thought about it quite a bit but did not act on that. I think I lost track of time and all of a sudden a week had past. I will make an assertive effort to do this field work in the next week as well as implement this in my daily life and coaching practice.
We spent the majority of the class sharing wins (I didn’t have one) and sharing our field work experiences. It was great to hear how the acknowledgement exercise went for everyone. Many people acknowledged their bosses, a couple their spouses, but overall everyone felt like it was a good experience. It was interesting that the people who did the acknowledging actually got a lot out of doing the acknowledging…it made them feel good.
Someone mentioned that their coach encouraged them to acknowledge themselves and I found it interesting that my coach also encouraged me in that way. I know that it is a weakness of mine to not slow down or take the time to acknowledge myself or celebrate my accomplishments.
It was a class rich with acknowledging others and ourselves. I appreciated all those who shared their experiences or struggles.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Commitment vs. Trying #1
The first class of this course was held on Wednesday, January 24, 2007. As I read the material for this power tool I quickly found a lot of value in it. It is a simple concept but powerful when using it to pick up on whether a client is really committed to what they say they are or if they have already defeated themselves.
We started by focusing on the statement in the reading material that says, “There is never a time, not even a split second, when we are not committed.” We discussed whether we thought this was a true statement. It was a tough one to wrap our heads around. However, I feel like this statement is true (even when we are sitting on the couch watching TV). We can be committed to just relaxing, resting or ‘doing nothing’, but by the very fact that it is what we are doing we are committed to it.
Trying was defined at giving up, persistence, focusing on failure, self-defeating, never actually achieving, difficult, challenging, uncertain of the outcome.
Commitment was defined as permanent, responsibility, awareness of what you are committed to, determination, accountable, promise, strength of convictions, purpose, dedication, seeing it through, faith.
The very definitions that we came up with point to completion of a goal when we are committed and failure when we are not committed. What am I committed to? My husband, my children, my faith in Jesus, being a good wife and mother, finishing ICA. In that commitment I feel like I have been successful in these areas. I have structure that helps me to achieve in these areas.
“Trying is putting forth effort, commitment is creating structure that helps facilitate the realization of that goal. “ Coaching is about setting up structure. What is the structure in place that will help to reach this goal? Coaching is about action but it is also about creating awareness. Awareness has choices. We may have an Underlying Automatic Commitment, an unconscious belief that is driving ones behavior? They are things that you are committed to but may not be aware of.
Red flag words: should, ought, need – haven’t really come to terms with…
There was a lot discussed in this class and I feel like I have a good handle on it and look forward to flushing it out a little more next week.
We started by focusing on the statement in the reading material that says, “There is never a time, not even a split second, when we are not committed.” We discussed whether we thought this was a true statement. It was a tough one to wrap our heads around. However, I feel like this statement is true (even when we are sitting on the couch watching TV). We can be committed to just relaxing, resting or ‘doing nothing’, but by the very fact that it is what we are doing we are committed to it.
Trying was defined at giving up, persistence, focusing on failure, self-defeating, never actually achieving, difficult, challenging, uncertain of the outcome.
Commitment was defined as permanent, responsibility, awareness of what you are committed to, determination, accountable, promise, strength of convictions, purpose, dedication, seeing it through, faith.
The very definitions that we came up with point to completion of a goal when we are committed and failure when we are not committed. What am I committed to? My husband, my children, my faith in Jesus, being a good wife and mother, finishing ICA. In that commitment I feel like I have been successful in these areas. I have structure that helps me to achieve in these areas.
“Trying is putting forth effort, commitment is creating structure that helps facilitate the realization of that goal. “ Coaching is about setting up structure. What is the structure in place that will help to reach this goal? Coaching is about action but it is also about creating awareness. Awareness has choices. We may have an Underlying Automatic Commitment, an unconscious belief that is driving ones behavior? They are things that you are committed to but may not be aware of.
Red flag words: should, ought, need – haven’t really come to terms with…
There was a lot discussed in this class and I feel like I have a good handle on it and look forward to flushing it out a little more next week.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Business Action Plan #2
The second part of this course on Tuesday, January 23, 2007, was focused on the Marketing Plan. The avenues of marketing that I am currently using are Referrals; through the conference that my husband and I host and teach, churches and therapists in the area; also, General Marketing; through brochures, website and business cards. I have thought about other ways to market eventually, by radio, podcasts and a book someday.
The focus of the discussion was sharing what marketing strategies we are using and to get ideas from others about what we might want to try. I was confident that the things that I am doing right now are the right strategies for me for the time being but was also very enthused about working on my Action Plan again.
I have not worked on my Action Plan since before the winter break and although I was intending to work on it over the break I procrastinated and put it off largely due to the fact that I felt overwhelmed by the process after the first class. I am feeling ready to tackle it again and get at least a ‘rough draft’ completed before the next class on February 20th.
The focus of the discussion was sharing what marketing strategies we are using and to get ideas from others about what we might want to try. I was confident that the things that I am doing right now are the right strategies for me for the time being but was also very enthused about working on my Action Plan again.
I have not worked on my Action Plan since before the winter break and although I was intending to work on it over the break I procrastinated and put it off largely due to the fact that I felt overwhelmed by the process after the first class. I am feeling ready to tackle it again and get at least a ‘rough draft’ completed before the next class on February 20th.
Trial Session #2
This class was held on Tuesday, January 23, 2007. I have to admit that I was anxious to get this class over with. As I wrote in my last blog on this subject, I just don’t see myself going out and offering a bunch of trial sessions to people, especially in relationship to my niche. My coach and I had a good laugh about what that would look like…”Hi, I’m a sexual betrayal coach, can I offer you a trial session on how you have been sexual betrayed by your spouse?”
Several people shared that they had tried to have a trial session. It seemed like less than 50% were successful. Many people did trial sessions on people that they knew already…they said that it was awkward and ‘corny’. They noted that it was unnatural to have that type of conversation with someone you know.
We discussed that the trial sessions shouldn’t only be about getting a client. It is important to make sure that the client is right for you, to make sure that the two of you are aligned. The trial session is also for us, the coaches, to practice articulating what it is we do.
Bill walked us through a “Real Goals Exercise”. It was an example of a way to bring people into coaching from a trial session. It helps the client see what they really want. It also gives the coach a platform to coach from. I think I may be able to use this exercise when I talk with women who are having a hard time articulating what they really want, particularly in relationship to their spouse.
Several people shared that they had tried to have a trial session. It seemed like less than 50% were successful. Many people did trial sessions on people that they knew already…they said that it was awkward and ‘corny’. They noted that it was unnatural to have that type of conversation with someone you know.
We discussed that the trial sessions shouldn’t only be about getting a client. It is important to make sure that the client is right for you, to make sure that the two of you are aligned. The trial session is also for us, the coaches, to practice articulating what it is we do.
Bill walked us through a “Real Goals Exercise”. It was an example of a way to bring people into coaching from a trial session. It helps the client see what they really want. It also gives the coach a platform to coach from. I think I may be able to use this exercise when I talk with women who are having a hard time articulating what they really want, particularly in relationship to their spouse.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Introduction to Coaching Part 2
I took this class on Friday, January 19, 2007. We were given a lot of time to ask questions about coaching. I didn’t feel like I had any basic questions about what coaching is or how to go about it, therefore I spent the class listening so others questions. When someone brought up a question I answered it for myself and then waited to see what Merci would say on the subject to see if I was aligned.
One question was about niche; how to find your niche, when you should have your niche, etc. I had my niche before I went into coaching. In a sense I went into coaching in response to a niche so I felt good about that, I know that this is rare and that most people have to really give this area some thought. Another question was around how to set up a coaching relationship; time of sessions, how many sessions, fees, phone or face-to-face, etc. Again, I have already really defined what my coaching practice was to look like and was able to answer the particulars in this area.
We also spent some time discussing the future of coaching and where it is going in the professional realm. It was amazing to me how popular it is becoming in corporations as a hired staff position. I have no desire to head in that direction but it gives the profession even more credibility. Overall, I am glad that I am done with this class. As I said before it is a course that I would have preferred to take a few months ago when I first began at ICA and it just didn’t work out.
One question was about niche; how to find your niche, when you should have your niche, etc. I had my niche before I went into coaching. In a sense I went into coaching in response to a niche so I felt good about that, I know that this is rare and that most people have to really give this area some thought. Another question was around how to set up a coaching relationship; time of sessions, how many sessions, fees, phone or face-to-face, etc. Again, I have already really defined what my coaching practice was to look like and was able to answer the particulars in this area.
We also spent some time discussing the future of coaching and where it is going in the professional realm. It was amazing to me how popular it is becoming in corporations as a hired staff position. I have no desire to head in that direction but it gives the profession even more credibility. Overall, I am glad that I am done with this class. As I said before it is a course that I would have preferred to take a few months ago when I first began at ICA and it just didn’t work out.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Acknowledgement #1
I was very excited about taking my first Advanced Coaching I class. I am one of those types of people that are somewhat systematic about the way I go about doing things. Although I don’t have all my Foundation Classes completed I am getting close, I have been working on the power tools and the business classes as well and I have all the Foundation classes on the calendar so I figured it would be advantageous to start on the next set of classes. I am looking forward to stepping up to the next level of challenges in the ‘Advanced’ classes.
So today, Wednesday, January 17, 2007, I begin with Acknowledgement. Joanne shared an article by Cheryl Richardson that was about how we can acknowledge those around us even in small ways. Many people shared stories of ways they have acknowledged people in their lives. I felt very anxious to share how I acknowledged my husband about how he has given me wings and that I know that not everyone has a husband that allows their wife to soar the way mine has, but it was impossible to get a word in with so many people on the line and so many people who wanted to talk, I eventually gave up and muted my phone and decided to just listen.
I was encouraged to make acknowledgement a little more a part of my normal conversations in my personal life. Specifically, I was encouraged to continue acknowledging my clients. Words like: “I believe in you.” “Well done.” “I see you have these qualities…” “I’m so proud of you.” I was pleased with myself that I was able to say without any reservation that I have acknowledged in sessions.
One place I need to work on, as my coach has brought to my attention, is acknowledging myself for accomplishments…I often just move on to the next thing on my list and don’t take the time to acknowledge myself. Our fieldwork for this week is to think of one person that we would like to acknowledge and to do so and report back next week. I have not yet decided on whom that someone will be. I am trying to think of someone outside of my family. Let you know next week!
So today, Wednesday, January 17, 2007, I begin with Acknowledgement. Joanne shared an article by Cheryl Richardson that was about how we can acknowledge those around us even in small ways. Many people shared stories of ways they have acknowledged people in their lives. I felt very anxious to share how I acknowledged my husband about how he has given me wings and that I know that not everyone has a husband that allows their wife to soar the way mine has, but it was impossible to get a word in with so many people on the line and so many people who wanted to talk, I eventually gave up and muted my phone and decided to just listen.
I was encouraged to make acknowledgement a little more a part of my normal conversations in my personal life. Specifically, I was encouraged to continue acknowledging my clients. Words like: “I believe in you.” “Well done.” “I see you have these qualities…” “I’m so proud of you.” I was pleased with myself that I was able to say without any reservation that I have acknowledged in sessions.
One place I need to work on, as my coach has brought to my attention, is acknowledging myself for accomplishments…I often just move on to the next thing on my list and don’t take the time to acknowledge myself. Our fieldwork for this week is to think of one person that we would like to acknowledge and to do so and report back next week. I have not yet decided on whom that someone will be. I am trying to think of someone outside of my family. Let you know next week!
Game vs. Significance #2
I took the second part of Game vs. Significance on Wednesday, January 17, 2007. There was a lot of good dialogue around what people did to make a game out of things that are significant for them. Many people had issues around money and what they could do to make it less significant. There was also someone who shared that he was trying to smile more and a woman who made a game around decorating her home with her husband and trying to keep it from becoming overly significant between the two of them. I was impressed with the different things that people came up with to try…very creative.
I haven’t been able to come up with a ‘game’ for something significant in my life, maybe because I don’t tend to take things too seriously and know that ultimately God is in control. However, I am very irritated with our puppy…how can I make a game out of dealing with him? I guess I’ll think on this.
We discussed ways to lighten: “Is getting significant about this situation going to improve it?” “Were I on my death bed would I be glad I was significant about…?” “What is the craziest way I could solve this problem, what solution would make me laugh out loud?”
I think, overall, I still don’t really care for this power tool…it seems a little peculiar. I am not sure where that comes from in me…maybe I just don’t know how to be creative in coming up with wacky games…maybe I don’t get significant so it is hard for me to see the value in this. I sort of feel like it is belittling others feelings, particularly clients, when we suggest they make a game out of something that they are serious about. I work with people who have had severe betrayal and wounds occur in their life and it seems a bit callous to suggest making it a game.
I realize that the concept is, ‘we don’t take away from the importance of the issue but rather help them to not let it take over their life’. But I still haven’t been able to embrace this power tool.
I haven’t been able to come up with a ‘game’ for something significant in my life, maybe because I don’t tend to take things too seriously and know that ultimately God is in control. However, I am very irritated with our puppy…how can I make a game out of dealing with him? I guess I’ll think on this.
We discussed ways to lighten: “Is getting significant about this situation going to improve it?” “Were I on my death bed would I be glad I was significant about…?” “What is the craziest way I could solve this problem, what solution would make me laugh out loud?”
I think, overall, I still don’t really care for this power tool…it seems a little peculiar. I am not sure where that comes from in me…maybe I just don’t know how to be creative in coming up with wacky games…maybe I don’t get significant so it is hard for me to see the value in this. I sort of feel like it is belittling others feelings, particularly clients, when we suggest they make a game out of something that they are serious about. I work with people who have had severe betrayal and wounds occur in their life and it seems a bit callous to suggest making it a game.
I realize that the concept is, ‘we don’t take away from the importance of the issue but rather help them to not let it take over their life’. But I still haven’t been able to embrace this power tool.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Selling Your Coaching
Before this class began (Tuesday, January 16, 2007) I felt like it was identical to the Foundation Class on The Trial Session. I was actually taking the two classes back to back and found that much of the reading material and exercises were the same….I was curious to see what the difference was going to be.
One topic of discussion was, how do you get the client to sign up after the Trial Session? Some of the things that were discussed with this were, give homework so you have a reason to follow up, have brochure available to give them about what you do and don’t be too pushy. I felt these were all good suggestions, as well as, just asking if they want coaching.
Another way to get people signed up from a Trial Session is “Pre-selling” – they are there because they have a problem to solve, they know what coaching is and they believe that you can help them. Give people an experience of who we are. One way that was brought up was by having little seminars or teaching sessions on a particular issue so that people are familiar with you, your style and your values. In a sense our Couple’s Conferences are this. We don’t have the conferences to generate clientele but rather clientele is generated as a result of the conferences.
I liked that we focused not on being random about who we give a Trial Session to, rather giving Trial Sessions to those who need/want it from you. There needs to be an element of trust already established. One way this occurs is through referrals. Referrals give you credibility and a bit of established trust.
I found that the difference in the two courses was that the Foundation class was focused on getting the experience as a coach whereas this class (Selling Your Coaching) was more focused on strategies for setting up a Trial Session – back end of marketing instead of leading your marketing. Not making it the focus or the goal but rather a tool.
One topic of discussion was, how do you get the client to sign up after the Trial Session? Some of the things that were discussed with this were, give homework so you have a reason to follow up, have brochure available to give them about what you do and don’t be too pushy. I felt these were all good suggestions, as well as, just asking if they want coaching.
Another way to get people signed up from a Trial Session is “Pre-selling” – they are there because they have a problem to solve, they know what coaching is and they believe that you can help them. Give people an experience of who we are. One way that was brought up was by having little seminars or teaching sessions on a particular issue so that people are familiar with you, your style and your values. In a sense our Couple’s Conferences are this. We don’t have the conferences to generate clientele but rather clientele is generated as a result of the conferences.
I liked that we focused not on being random about who we give a Trial Session to, rather giving Trial Sessions to those who need/want it from you. There needs to be an element of trust already established. One way this occurs is through referrals. Referrals give you credibility and a bit of established trust.
I found that the difference in the two courses was that the Foundation class was focused on getting the experience as a coach whereas this class (Selling Your Coaching) was more focused on strategies for setting up a Trial Session – back end of marketing instead of leading your marketing. Not making it the focus or the goal but rather a tool.
Selling Your Coaching
Before this class began (Tuesday, January 16, 2007) I felt like it was identical to the Foundation Class on The Trial Session. I was actually taking the two classes back to back and found that much of the reading material and exercises were the same….I was curious to see what the difference was going to be.
One topic of discussion was, how do you get the client to sign up after the Trial Session? Some of the things that were discussed with this were, give homework so you have a reason to follow up, have brochure available to give them about what you do and don’t be too pushy. I felt these were all good suggestions, as well as, just asking if they want coaching.
Another way to get people signed up from a Trial Session is “Pre-selling” – they are there because they have a problem to solve, they know what coaching is and they believe that you can help them. Give people an experience of who we are. One way that was brought up was by having little seminars or teaching sessions on a particular issue so that people are familiar with you, your style and your values. In a sense our Couple’s Conferences are this. We don’t have the conferences to generate clientele but rather clientele is generated as a result of the conferences.
I liked that we focused not on being random about who we give a Trial Session to, rather giving Trial Sessions to those who need/want it from you. There needs to be an element of trust already established. One way this occurs is through referrals. Referrals give you credibility and a bit of established trust.
I found that the difference in the two courses was that the Foundation class was focused on getting the experience as a coach whereas this class (Selling Your Coaching) was more focused on strategies for setting up a Trial Session – back end of marketing instead of leading your marketing. Not making it the focus or the goal but rather a tool.
One topic of discussion was, how do you get the client to sign up after the Trial Session? Some of the things that were discussed with this were, give homework so you have a reason to follow up, have brochure available to give them about what you do and don’t be too pushy. I felt these were all good suggestions, as well as, just asking if they want coaching.
Another way to get people signed up from a Trial Session is “Pre-selling” – they are there because they have a problem to solve, they know what coaching is and they believe that you can help them. Give people an experience of who we are. One way that was brought up was by having little seminars or teaching sessions on a particular issue so that people are familiar with you, your style and your values. In a sense our Couple’s Conferences are this. We don’t have the conferences to generate clientele but rather clientele is generated as a result of the conferences.
I liked that we focused not on being random about who we give a Trial Session to, rather giving Trial Sessions to those who need/want it from you. There needs to be an element of trust already established. One way this occurs is through referrals. Referrals give you credibility and a bit of established trust.
I found that the difference in the two courses was that the Foundation class was focused on getting the experience as a coach whereas this class (Selling Your Coaching) was more focused on strategies for setting up a Trial Session – back end of marketing instead of leading your marketing. Not making it the focus or the goal but rather a tool.
The Trial Session Part 1
The beginning of this course on Tuesday, January 16, 2007 was focused on what steps to take with a person who feels like they have so much to work on that they wouldn’t know where to start. Some things that came up were: “What is one thing that you would want to change?” “What would you try right now if you knew it could not fail?” “What do you want more of/less of?” “What would give you more peace?”
I have a bit of a different take on the Trial Session concept because I am not in the position where I just want to get clients in order to build a practice and have a career. I will only coach women that fall into my niche, women who have been sexual betrayed by their spouse. One advantage to doing a Trial Session for my niche would be for the benefit of the client; to see what coaching is, to meet me and see if they are comfortable with me and to help them see the advantages to coaching on this specific issue.
We talked about how the Trial Session is not only for the client but also for the coach. A Trial Session can be helpful for the coach to get an idea of whom they coach best, to build up confidence through practice and experience and develop a referral base.
My focus on the Trial Session as I develop it for the class Selling Your Coaching will be from the aspect of how a Trial Session can enhance what I’m trying to convey but not what I can get from it. I know that I will not be searching out people to have a Trial Session with just to have a Trial Session but rather I will offer a Trial Session for someone who wants to understand what it is.
I have a bit of a different take on the Trial Session concept because I am not in the position where I just want to get clients in order to build a practice and have a career. I will only coach women that fall into my niche, women who have been sexual betrayed by their spouse. One advantage to doing a Trial Session for my niche would be for the benefit of the client; to see what coaching is, to meet me and see if they are comfortable with me and to help them see the advantages to coaching on this specific issue.
We talked about how the Trial Session is not only for the client but also for the coach. A Trial Session can be helpful for the coach to get an idea of whom they coach best, to build up confidence through practice and experience and develop a referral base.
My focus on the Trial Session as I develop it for the class Selling Your Coaching will be from the aspect of how a Trial Session can enhance what I’m trying to convey but not what I can get from it. I know that I will not be searching out people to have a Trial Session with just to have a Trial Session but rather I will offer a Trial Session for someone who wants to understand what it is.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Foundations to Coaching #1
I wanted to take this course a few months ago when I first began at ICA. I was unable to find a class that worked with my schedule. In some courses I have heard a lot about not giving opinions and just asking questions and I was really hung up on that concept because it seemed so rigid and made me wonder how helpful I can be in that facet. I appreciated Merci saying, “Coaching is not that rigid. Coaching doesn’t have absolutes or definites.” It is more about finding out what the client wants from the relationship. I agree that the role of the coach is to help the client find the answers to their questions and to help them move forward to accomplish their goals, but it seems to me like the coaching role needs to be flexible…based on the clients needs.
Merci brought up our “story” and what role that can play in our coaching. I love this! Everything in my life and ministry is about “my story”. I believe strongly that what we have to offer personally plays a huge role in coaching. We discussed how sharing just a little bit about our own experience in a particular issue can help someone open up and also feel hopeful. They might look at us as the coach and feel like if we were able to work through a particular area then they can as well. People want to be coached by people who live extraordinary lives.
I was, however, challenged to be a little more question focused. I am going to spend some time working on my repertoire of “power questions”. Even though Merci said that coaching is more flexible and that it isn’t rigid to just asking questions she did emphasis that she uses a technique that allows people to experience coaching through questions only and that it is pretty fantastic.
Merci brought up our “story” and what role that can play in our coaching. I love this! Everything in my life and ministry is about “my story”. I believe strongly that what we have to offer personally plays a huge role in coaching. We discussed how sharing just a little bit about our own experience in a particular issue can help someone open up and also feel hopeful. They might look at us as the coach and feel like if we were able to work through a particular area then they can as well. People want to be coached by people who live extraordinary lives.
I was, however, challenged to be a little more question focused. I am going to spend some time working on my repertoire of “power questions”. Even though Merci said that coaching is more flexible and that it isn’t rigid to just asking questions she did emphasis that she uses a technique that allows people to experience coaching through questions only and that it is pretty fantastic.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Game vs. Significance #1
Going into this class on Wednesday, January 10, 2007, I was frustrated about the material. The word significance to me makes me think about things that really matter to me. As we started to define Game and Significance I was surprised at the negative connotations that others put with the word significance. Significance was described as self-importance, no room to move, heavy and serious. Game, on the other hand, was defined as process oriented, a playful joyful state, creates a challenge, is receptive and open.
It was discussed that when we take life or a particular issue too seriously either people won’t want to be around us or we push people away because we are too focused on this ‘thing’. That when we are focused on being significant we are not authentic with others…we are too focused on the significance to let ourselves be real and vulnerable. I am able to think of people that are too significant but I don’t see myself that way. Maybe I am clueless about myself but I learned years ago that in life you have to have a perspective about things that “It is what it is.” Someone once said to my husband (who used to be very significant) “Will it matter in one hundred years.” We can’t control everything and we need to learn how to respond to things that ‘matter’ in such a way that we don’t become significant.
We were challenged to answer the question, “What is one thing that is significant in my life?” I think I have many things in my life that I take seriously or that really matter to me, but not so much that I lose perspective on it or that I am unable to see it for what it is. We were challenged to apply game in our life on this one thing that we are significant about. I will be spending this week trying to watch myself to see if I am being significant in some way that I have not been aware of.
As I think about my coaching clients who may be significant I think it will come back to helping them re-frame their perspective…”When life deals you lemons make lemonade.” “It’s a moment not a monument.” Etc… I feel the challenge this week for me will be self analysis to make sure that I am not significant…like I think I am.
It was discussed that when we take life or a particular issue too seriously either people won’t want to be around us or we push people away because we are too focused on this ‘thing’. That when we are focused on being significant we are not authentic with others…we are too focused on the significance to let ourselves be real and vulnerable. I am able to think of people that are too significant but I don’t see myself that way. Maybe I am clueless about myself but I learned years ago that in life you have to have a perspective about things that “It is what it is.” Someone once said to my husband (who used to be very significant) “Will it matter in one hundred years.” We can’t control everything and we need to learn how to respond to things that ‘matter’ in such a way that we don’t become significant.
We were challenged to answer the question, “What is one thing that is significant in my life?” I think I have many things in my life that I take seriously or that really matter to me, but not so much that I lose perspective on it or that I am unable to see it for what it is. We were challenged to apply game in our life on this one thing that we are significant about. I will be spending this week trying to watch myself to see if I am being significant in some way that I have not been aware of.
As I think about my coaching clients who may be significant I think it will come back to helping them re-frame their perspective…”When life deals you lemons make lemonade.” “It’s a moment not a monument.” Etc… I feel the challenge this week for me will be self analysis to make sure that I am not significant…like I think I am.
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Business Action Plan #1
I took the first class on Tuesday, December 5, 2006. When I called in for this class I was feeling like it was no big deal. I have had a vision about how my business was going to work for some time. As I read the materials I felt like I could answer all the questions and had a plan for each area even though it wasn’t yet written down. Wake Up Call! I got on the teleclass and everyone was so stressed out and in a sense panicking. I began to panic as well. I finally calmed myself down and said, “Rebecca, you know where you are going and what you are doing, just relax.” My ‘plan’ was to work on the Business Action Plan over the winter break…I never looked at even once. I found I was avoiding it…feeling like it was a mountain to climb. I have recently taken it back out and started picking at some of the topics that don’t seem so overwhelming. I am hoping that when I take Part 2 of the course I will get re-inspired and focused.
Truth vs. Fraud
I felt like this class was so basic when I began to read the homework. As I listened to others share in these classes I was amazed at what a struggle this is for many people. I took these two classes on Monday, November 27 & Monday, December 4, 2006. I have always been a person of strong conviction. Right is right and wrong is wrong. In evaluating my life I found that I don’t really withhold information either, especially from my husband. I do, however, withhold information from my children at times, usually because it isn’t something that is age appropriate.
As I thought about my coaching practice I realized that not all my clients are going to have the same conviction about truth that I have. Listening to other students helped me to realize that it is a lot easier for people to lie or withhold information than I thought it was. I think I will be more aware as I am listening to my clients and also not make the assumption that everything is exactly the way they say it is. I hope that I will be able build a relationship with my clients that they will feel safe in telling the truth even if it makes them “look bad” so that I will be able to help them. If I don’t know where they are failing I can’t help them be more successful.
As I thought about my coaching practice I realized that not all my clients are going to have the same conviction about truth that I have. Listening to other students helped me to realize that it is a lot easier for people to lie or withhold information than I thought it was. I think I will be more aware as I am listening to my clients and also not make the assumption that everything is exactly the way they say it is. I hope that I will be able build a relationship with my clients that they will feel safe in telling the truth even if it makes them “look bad” so that I will be able to help them. If I don’t know where they are failing I can’t help them be more successful.
Getting Started Part 2
This class took place on Tuesday, January 9, 2007. Bill took sometime to overview what was discussed in the last class (before the winter break). I was confident at that time that I was well on my way. I had already formulated what my practice looked like, what I was going to charge and what my niche would be. I already had two clients and was moving forward quickly. Since that class I have put together a brochure and ordered business cards. So I still feel like I am “Getting Started” fairly well.
The focus of this second class was “What are the things that are holding us back?” I had actually discussed this a little bit with my husband already because I found myself feeling such huge disappointment when clients didn’t want to do the work. I probably thought at some level it was about my coaching – that I wasn’t able to motivate them toward their goals. I realize that this not true. I know that I can only help those who want help and I can only do what I can do, they have to do the real work.
A few points that Bill brought up for us to think about were: Income activities vs. busy activities…are things we are focusing on bringing income or are we spinning our wheels? What do I offer as a coach? I have also spent some time on this because I am working on my Business Action Plan and what I have to offer is a big part of that. I believe I have a story to offer. I coach women who have been sexually betrayed by their husbands and I want to share what I have learned to help other women not live with the lies and the traps that I lived in. And, fee negotiations – most of us tend to under value our strengths. I have changed my fee structure several times already. At first I did under value what I had to offer. My husband encouraged me in this area. Then I wanted to offer more of myself as part of a package. Now I find myself listening to the clients and finding a place that works for both of us. I have a set fee and I work from there…knowing that I have a valuable service to offer but also wanting to give help to those who want it.
It seems like it will all be a continual process and I don’t think that I will ever stop making changes and revising my Business Plan or my practice. Being in a service oriented field means making sure you are servicing the clients and that always changes.
The focus of this second class was “What are the things that are holding us back?” I had actually discussed this a little bit with my husband already because I found myself feeling such huge disappointment when clients didn’t want to do the work. I probably thought at some level it was about my coaching – that I wasn’t able to motivate them toward their goals. I realize that this not true. I know that I can only help those who want help and I can only do what I can do, they have to do the real work.
A few points that Bill brought up for us to think about were: Income activities vs. busy activities…are things we are focusing on bringing income or are we spinning our wheels? What do I offer as a coach? I have also spent some time on this because I am working on my Business Action Plan and what I have to offer is a big part of that. I believe I have a story to offer. I coach women who have been sexually betrayed by their husbands and I want to share what I have learned to help other women not live with the lies and the traps that I lived in. And, fee negotiations – most of us tend to under value our strengths. I have changed my fee structure several times already. At first I did under value what I had to offer. My husband encouraged me in this area. Then I wanted to offer more of myself as part of a package. Now I find myself listening to the clients and finding a place that works for both of us. I have a set fee and I work from there…knowing that I have a valuable service to offer but also wanting to give help to those who want it.
It seems like it will all be a continual process and I don’t think that I will ever stop making changes and revising my Business Plan or my practice. Being in a service oriented field means making sure you are servicing the clients and that always changes.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Effective Feedback
Wow! This course is a stumper for me. I totally get what effective feedback entails. I feel like I can give effective feedback based on the criteria in the notes: not personal, opportunity finding, fact based, objective, focused on the future, constructive and neutral. I am one that can be objective and fact based. It is easy for me to keep my emotions and opinions to myself in a coaching situation. The thing that still has me boggled is the part about asking to give feedback. I accept that it is a polite way to enter into feedback giving or a segway into giving feedback, however, in my perspective feedback is the crux of coaching in a lot of ways.
In the little coaching that I have done up to this point it seems to me that the client is continuously seeking feedback. They want to either affirm that the steps they are taking are appropriate or they want to know other things they can try. I’m trying to picture in my mind a coaching session without feedback and feel that I wouldn’t want to be paid if I wasn’t offering feedback. So for me, although I get the “effective” part, the part about asking to give feedback seems real foreign to me. I will continue to ponder this aspect to try to figure out what is missing in my understanding of this.
The other section of this course focused on role-playing. I like this technique and have been able to use it in its simplest form…conversation. I have had clients that fear a conversation and just talking out how the conversation could go, with different scenarios, is an effective tools to helping them feel more confident in going into those conversations. I will continue to use this tool at different levels in my coaching.
In the little coaching that I have done up to this point it seems to me that the client is continuously seeking feedback. They want to either affirm that the steps they are taking are appropriate or they want to know other things they can try. I’m trying to picture in my mind a coaching session without feedback and feel that I wouldn’t want to be paid if I wasn’t offering feedback. So for me, although I get the “effective” part, the part about asking to give feedback seems real foreign to me. I will continue to ponder this aspect to try to figure out what is missing in my understanding of this.
The other section of this course focused on role-playing. I like this technique and have been able to use it in its simplest form…conversation. I have had clients that fear a conversation and just talking out how the conversation could go, with different scenarios, is an effective tools to helping them feel more confident in going into those conversations. I will continue to use this tool at different levels in my coaching.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Perspective
I loved this course! I took this course on Tuesday, November 14 and Tuesday, November 21, 2006. In recent years I have applied this concept to my own life but I just called it being content. For a long time I struggled with contentment and wanting to have what others had or to be what others were. When I discovered that it was an issue of contentment I was able to look at all I did have and the many blessing God had given me and find contentment where I was.
That is what perspective is all about. We can choose to stew in our misery and the things that life has dealt us or we can make the best of the situation and move forward, working through things one day at a time. Reframing is a great tool to changing ones perspective. The saying “When life deals you lemons, make lemonade” is so simple in concept but sometimes difficult to put into action.
In the second class one of the other students shared that she had lost her husband in the World Trade Center attack. While I listened to her talk about how life had given her a rotten deal and how she learned to take what she had gone through and reframe her perspective, I was inspired. I also was able to think about the women I coach. Many of the women I coach have husbands who want to participate in the process of healing, however, I occasionally have a woman whose husband does not want to stop his infidelity. I was encouraged about how to help these women to get to a place where they can accept this difficult place they are in as well as take steps to a healthier well-being. I will be coaching and living from a place of reframing perspective. It seems to me there is really no other way.
That is what perspective is all about. We can choose to stew in our misery and the things that life has dealt us or we can make the best of the situation and move forward, working through things one day at a time. Reframing is a great tool to changing ones perspective. The saying “When life deals you lemons, make lemonade” is so simple in concept but sometimes difficult to put into action.
In the second class one of the other students shared that she had lost her husband in the World Trade Center attack. While I listened to her talk about how life had given her a rotten deal and how she learned to take what she had gone through and reframe her perspective, I was inspired. I also was able to think about the women I coach. Many of the women I coach have husbands who want to participate in the process of healing, however, I occasionally have a woman whose husband does not want to stop his infidelity. I was encouraged about how to help these women to get to a place where they can accept this difficult place they are in as well as take steps to a healthier well-being. I will be coaching and living from a place of reframing perspective. It seems to me there is really no other way.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Getting Started
Getting started does feel a little overwhelming. However, I did get a lot out of the first part of this class. I found the class to be very informative in nature. I took the first part of this class on Friday, November 10, 2006. Although I would have liked to complete this course before the winter break I was unable to find a Part 2 that fit into my schedule. One of the first things we talked about was Peer Coaching. I was unaware that I was supposed to have a coach for 12 sessions. I was relieved to have found this out early on. That day right after class I got on the Discussion Board and posted an ad for a coach. I only received one response but as it turned out it was a good match. I am in a place in my life where I have a lot of direction and focus. I am also very happy and content in my life. I have a happy marriage and great children, a good church and faithful friends. I don’t have to work for financial reason but want to coach to help others and share what I have learned. Sivona was up for the challenge of finding something to coach me on. As it has turned out she has been a sounding board for my existing client cases. I have been able to just to process my sessions with her and get a little insight from her.
We discussed SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, result oriented, time based) and the importance of writing down goals. I have to admit I still have not written down any of my goals other than the ones in my business action plan (a work in progress). I have a lot of elements that will be forming my practice and what my goals will be and I am waiting to see how some of these things work themselves out. However, I like the SMART goals model. I will definitely keep it close at hand as a tool to help my clients evaluate their goals as they set them. And, when I do write down my goals I will use these 5 points to help me set mine as well.
The last thing that we talked about was ways to market our coaching practice. This was easy for me to at least get started on. I already had a contract and client information sheet published. I had a plan for a brochure and that I sat down and published when we returned from Thanksgiving vacation. It outlines what coaching is, a little about me, and what I offer along with my rates. I also receive a lot of my clients through a couple’s conference that my husband and I host and teach. We are advertising that conference along with coaching to those in our field. The other element that I want to put into place is to get business cards. I have procrastinated on this a little bit but plan to have them for our next couple’s conference in March.
All in all I feel I received much insight as well as things to continue to work on. I am looking forward to the second class to see what else I should be working on.
We discussed SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, result oriented, time based) and the importance of writing down goals. I have to admit I still have not written down any of my goals other than the ones in my business action plan (a work in progress). I have a lot of elements that will be forming my practice and what my goals will be and I am waiting to see how some of these things work themselves out. However, I like the SMART goals model. I will definitely keep it close at hand as a tool to help my clients evaluate their goals as they set them. And, when I do write down my goals I will use these 5 points to help me set mine as well.
The last thing that we talked about was ways to market our coaching practice. This was easy for me to at least get started on. I already had a contract and client information sheet published. I had a plan for a brochure and that I sat down and published when we returned from Thanksgiving vacation. It outlines what coaching is, a little about me, and what I offer along with my rates. I also receive a lot of my clients through a couple’s conference that my husband and I host and teach. We are advertising that conference along with coaching to those in our field. The other element that I want to put into place is to get business cards. I have procrastinated on this a little bit but plan to have them for our next couple’s conference in March.
All in all I feel I received much insight as well as things to continue to work on. I am looking forward to the second class to see what else I should be working on.
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