The first class of this course was held on Wednesday, February 28, 2007. The class began with discussion around why people don’t set goals. We talked about the aversion people may have to the connotation of the word ‘goal’. Some people are afraid of failure; therefore of they don’t set goals they can’t fail in achieving them. Some people just don’t want to be accountable to their goals and still others may just be too lazy to set goals for themselves. It was also brought up that some people may feel bogged down by goals and like to feel freedom in this area.
Joanne shared her 14 step model for setting goals. I missed a few steps but liked a lot of the steps that I was able to capture; determine values, determine desire, define belief system, what are the benefits, list of obstacles, identify other info client will need, organizations/people who can help, make a plan, visualize the goal, decide never to give up and set up rewards/celebration.
Some barriers to achieving goals may be; people may not feel deserving of reaching a goal, it may be someone else’s goal that they feel they should achieve or feeling overwhelmed by the goal.
I think this is an important aspect to coaching and I am looking forward to flushing this out even more at the next class. I hope to develop my own model for walking clients through their goals.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Legal Issues
This class was held on Tuesday, February 27, 2007. We started off the class talking about having a Coaching Agreement. What should be included? What coaching is, the process of coaching, who calls who, how long are the sessions, what is the fee, how will the client pay, how long is the relationship, confidentiality, what the client can expect. I felt good about my agreement after hearing what most people were putting in their agreements. The ICF Code of Ethics was mentioned and I was interested in getting a hold of a copy of that.
We discussed what we would do if we no longer felt like our coaching was effective but the client kept coming anyway. The idea of coming up with asking the client what they were getting out of the coaching, possibly offer other types of support (i.e. therapy, consulting), build in an evaluation point in the coaching process, express our own feelings, seek out advice from other coaches or mentor coach (Is it us or the client?). I thought this was a great topic to think about. I am sure that at some point I will feel that the coaching process gets to a place that it is no longer effective and to think about how to handle that ahead of time was great.
What do we do when we have a client that threatens to harm themselves? In the U.S. (California) we are legally bound to break confidentiality if someone threatens to harm themselves or others. I think I may add this to my coaching agreement.
We discussed what we would do if we no longer felt like our coaching was effective but the client kept coming anyway. The idea of coming up with asking the client what they were getting out of the coaching, possibly offer other types of support (i.e. therapy, consulting), build in an evaluation point in the coaching process, express our own feelings, seek out advice from other coaches or mentor coach (Is it us or the client?). I thought this was a great topic to think about. I am sure that at some point I will feel that the coaching process gets to a place that it is no longer effective and to think about how to handle that ahead of time was great.
What do we do when we have a client that threatens to harm themselves? In the U.S. (California) we are legally bound to break confidentiality if someone threatens to harm themselves or others. I think I may add this to my coaching agreement.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Trust vs. Doubt #1
The first class of this course was held on Monday, February 26, 2007. I wrestled with this power tool, not because there was anything blatantly wrong with it just that I felt it should have been called Perfection vs. Problem based on the reading material. Interestingly enough, the class discussion began with ‘the meaning of words’. Specifically love and hate, are they opposites? Or is indifference really the opposite of love.
We then moved into talking about trust and doubt more specifically. Trust is becoming a word that holds a lot of weight not only in personal relationships but in the professional world as well. We no longer take what people tell us as truth (i.e. doctor) but rather we question people more. We don’t trust as easily but want to find our own answers. Trust isn’t something that just happens. It is something we have to work on. Trusting ourselves is part of this as well. Trusting ourselves instead of doubting ourselves is very empowering. It will help us to achieve our goals and more forward. Doubt can be just as powerful as trust. Doubt can paralyze us and keep us from doing what it is we think we want to do, be or accomplish. We can learn to trust ourselves by looking back at when we have trusted ourselves and were right about what we thought. It is also helpful to remember that you know yourself and to have faith in that. Doubting ourselves could possibly lead to failure in what we are trying to achieve. If we are feeling doubt about something we should explore why we are feeling that doubt…maybe it is timing, maybe we needs clarity, something is off or we just need assurance. Why are we feeling doubt? Is it a warning? Is it a fear that is constraining us?
We can use both trust and doubt to our benefit both in life and in coaching. Being intune with why and what we trust or doubt and us those doubts to explore further why, we can grow towards better understanding of ourselves, our clients and particular situations.
We then moved into talking about trust and doubt more specifically. Trust is becoming a word that holds a lot of weight not only in personal relationships but in the professional world as well. We no longer take what people tell us as truth (i.e. doctor) but rather we question people more. We don’t trust as easily but want to find our own answers. Trust isn’t something that just happens. It is something we have to work on. Trusting ourselves is part of this as well. Trusting ourselves instead of doubting ourselves is very empowering. It will help us to achieve our goals and more forward. Doubt can be just as powerful as trust. Doubt can paralyze us and keep us from doing what it is we think we want to do, be or accomplish. We can learn to trust ourselves by looking back at when we have trusted ourselves and were right about what we thought. It is also helpful to remember that you know yourself and to have faith in that. Doubting ourselves could possibly lead to failure in what we are trying to achieve. If we are feeling doubt about something we should explore why we are feeling that doubt…maybe it is timing, maybe we needs clarity, something is off or we just need assurance. Why are we feeling doubt? Is it a warning? Is it a fear that is constraining us?
We can use both trust and doubt to our benefit both in life and in coaching. Being intune with why and what we trust or doubt and us those doubts to explore further why, we can grow towards better understanding of ourselves, our clients and particular situations.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Creating Structure #2
The second class of this course was held on Wednesday, February 21, 2007. We focused on the actual coaching sessions/business. First question: How long are your sessions? The answers varied from 25 – 60 minutes. My sessions are 45 minutes. Second question: How many sessions per month does the client get? The answers varied from 3-4 sessions a month. I offer 4 sessions a month. Question 3: What type of sessions do you do? I do face-to-face, telephone and email support. I was surprised at how many people are doing face-to-face coaching since coaching has been so based in telephone sessions. Some people do all email or instant messenger coaching, they seemed to feel it worked well for them. Question 4: How do clients pay? How often, by what means, how much? Answers varied greatly. I charge up front for the month and prefer to be paid by credit card. I have several different packages that offer different levels of coaching for different fees.
It was great to hear all the different ways that people go about setting up their structure. Some people have come up with creative and unique ways of doing things…I think I am pretty straight forward and simple.
It was great to hear all the different ways that people go about setting up their structure. Some people have come up with creative and unique ways of doing things…I think I am pretty straight forward and simple.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Business Action Plan #3
The third class in this course was held on Tuesday, February 20, 2007. It was led actually by the third different instructor out of three classes. It was great to get three different focuses from three different facilitators.
The goal for the third class was to offer support for people in completing their Business Plan. My business plan is very basic and vague. I am not sure if I need it to be any more specific than I have at this point. One student really focused on the financial part of his business plan. I really don’t feel like this is the important part of my plan. The financial part is really secondary for my practice it is more about whom I want to coach, how I want to coach and how I want to let people know that I am offering this service.
The biggest thing I got from this class was that my business plan can be either as detailed or simple as I want it to be. I feel confident that I have a plan that works for me at this time.
The goal for the third class was to offer support for people in completing their Business Plan. My business plan is very basic and vague. I am not sure if I need it to be any more specific than I have at this point. One student really focused on the financial part of his business plan. I really don’t feel like this is the important part of my plan. The financial part is really secondary for my practice it is more about whom I want to coach, how I want to coach and how I want to let people know that I am offering this service.
The biggest thing I got from this class was that my business plan can be either as detailed or simple as I want it to be. I feel confident that I have a plan that works for me at this time.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Peer Coaching #1
This class held Wednesday, February 14, 2007, is the first of four for this course. I was looking forward to taking this class because I have just about completed my peer coaching with my ICA coach and have secured two peer clients…I am feeling like I am on my way. I do, however, want to make sure that I am doing it all correctly. I want to make sure that there isn’t some step in the process I am missing. And I want to learn anything new about the way to go about peer coaching which might be different from the clients I will be coaching in my practice.
In coaching we want to be looking for value in our coaching. We want to focus on our strengths and check in with our ICA clients for feedback on our effectiveness. I have not done this and I plan to ask one of my clients for feedback on our next call.
This first class we primarily focused on what the ICA requirements are and how to fulfill those requirements. We were also given suggestions for how to find your peer coach or peer clients. I didn’t really obtain any new information about the first steps of coaching through ICA, with the exception of asking for feedback from my peer clients in order to help me learn. I’m looking forward to moving into the other classes in hopes that I will get more of the information I was hoping to.
In coaching we want to be looking for value in our coaching. We want to focus on our strengths and check in with our ICA clients for feedback on our effectiveness. I have not done this and I plan to ask one of my clients for feedback on our next call.
This first class we primarily focused on what the ICA requirements are and how to fulfill those requirements. We were also given suggestions for how to find your peer coach or peer clients. I didn’t really obtain any new information about the first steps of coaching through ICA, with the exception of asking for feedback from my peer clients in order to help me learn. I’m looking forward to moving into the other classes in hopes that I will get more of the information I was hoping to.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Creating Structure #1
The first class in this course was held on Wednesday, February 14, 2007. As is typical in many classes we started by defining “Structure”: being organized, creating a framework, having a system, guidelines, foundation, support, process. Some people feel that structure is BAD…limitation, boring, confinement. “Structures are meant to support our life not limit it.”
Coaching practice structure: coaching model, prep forms, appointment book, length of sessions, how client pays, how to handle cancellations.
Standards are for me. What my client can count on me for. Level of commitment, principals and values, define our beliefs.
Boundaries are for others. What I expect from my clients. How do they know what I expect from them? What I will allow in my life.
I feel I have a good grasp on what my standards and boundaries are in coaching. So far I haven’t run into any problems that require me being overly specific about these. I’ve kept my list of “do’s” and “don’ts” pretty basic – short and sweet.
As far as “Policies” I have written a coaching contract and a brochure that outline the basic policies and procedures for coaching. I also use the first session, either a trial session or actual session, to verbalize these basic policies and procedures to the client.
Bill said “You want to create a structure that will attract the type of clients you want to coach.” I feel I have done this and that is why I haven’t run into difficulty in this area. There seems to be like-mindedness between my clients and me that makes this an easy fit.
Coaching practice structure: coaching model, prep forms, appointment book, length of sessions, how client pays, how to handle cancellations.
Standards are for me. What my client can count on me for. Level of commitment, principals and values, define our beliefs.
Boundaries are for others. What I expect from my clients. How do they know what I expect from them? What I will allow in my life.
I feel I have a good grasp on what my standards and boundaries are in coaching. So far I haven’t run into any problems that require me being overly specific about these. I’ve kept my list of “do’s” and “don’ts” pretty basic – short and sweet.
As far as “Policies” I have written a coaching contract and a brochure that outline the basic policies and procedures for coaching. I also use the first session, either a trial session or actual session, to verbalize these basic policies and procedures to the client.
Bill said “You want to create a structure that will attract the type of clients you want to coach.” I feel I have done this and that is why I haven’t run into difficulty in this area. There seems to be like-mindedness between my clients and me that makes this an easy fit.
Responsibility vs. Blame #2
At the beginning of class the topic of the difference between guilt and shame as it is related to Responsibility vs. Blame came up. It was interesting to think about how feeling shame can make us hide behind blaming. I think it is a good concept to keep in mind as related to our clients. Very often people who are hurt by someone at a deep level feel so ashamed that they ‘allowed’ it to happen to them that they blame them rather than take responsibility for what they choose to do with that hurt.
This class held Wednesday, February 14, 2007 got deep about to what extent one can accept responsibility….children, victims, etc… I feel that the question is really what to we do with what has happened. Some times in life things happen to us that we really don’t have control over…our responsibility is what we do with our circumstances.
I was a little disturbed that the consensus of the class seemed to be that we can never say that something is the fault of someone else. If a person hits you with a car, if a person abused you in some way, parents divorce when you are a child, someone steals something that is yours…these are things that you can blame others for. We don’t ask to get hit by a car or abused by someone etc. I feel it is ok to assign blame to someone but what we do with that is our responsibility. We need to move past blaming into action of what are we going to do with what happen to us.
How does forgiveness play into this? Forgive does not release or endorse the offender it is for you. I agree with this 100%. This is what my husband and I teach in our couple’s conference. Forgiving is NOT forgetting, but it is healing for self.
This class held Wednesday, February 14, 2007 got deep about to what extent one can accept responsibility….children, victims, etc… I feel that the question is really what to we do with what has happened. Some times in life things happen to us that we really don’t have control over…our responsibility is what we do with our circumstances.
I was a little disturbed that the consensus of the class seemed to be that we can never say that something is the fault of someone else. If a person hits you with a car, if a person abused you in some way, parents divorce when you are a child, someone steals something that is yours…these are things that you can blame others for. We don’t ask to get hit by a car or abused by someone etc. I feel it is ok to assign blame to someone but what we do with that is our responsibility. We need to move past blaming into action of what are we going to do with what happen to us.
How does forgiveness play into this? Forgive does not release or endorse the offender it is for you. I agree with this 100%. This is what my husband and I teach in our couple’s conference. Forgiving is NOT forgetting, but it is healing for self.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Intro to Teleclass Leading
This class was held on Tuesday, February 13, 2007. As I read the homework for this course I immediately felt that this was not something I would incorporate into my coaching practice.
One point that was discussed about leading teleclasses was that we need to allow the interaction to happen as is comfortable for those involved. It is not the facilitator’s job to make sure that everyone is sharing or that one person isn’t talking too much. Every person should find their own level of learning.
The discussion quickly turned to strategies for using teleclasses and teleseminars for marketing. Many students were brimming with ideas about what kind of classes to have in order to create a clientele. I see value in all that was discussed…it just doesn’t fit into my vision for my coaching practice. I feel my niche is much more private and personal in nature.
One point that was discussed about leading teleclasses was that we need to allow the interaction to happen as is comfortable for those involved. It is not the facilitator’s job to make sure that everyone is sharing or that one person isn’t talking too much. Every person should find their own level of learning.
The discussion quickly turned to strategies for using teleclasses and teleseminars for marketing. Many students were brimming with ideas about what kind of classes to have in order to create a clientele. I see value in all that was discussed…it just doesn’t fit into my vision for my coaching practice. I feel my niche is much more private and personal in nature.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Responsibility vs. Blame #1
The first class of this course was held on Wednesday, February 07, 2007. The point of this power tool is to help clients be aware that happiness comes from them and not to them.
We began by defining Responsibility: ability to respond, accepting, having an important role, empowering (world is open to them), ownership, obligation with power in the responsibility, making choices, freedom. There is a difference between having a responsibility (obligation) and being responsible.
The reading material says, “When we choose to take responsibility, we choose freedom.” This means that we are in the driver’s seat, in control, not a victim, the one who can take action.
We then defined Blame: ability to react, victim, powerless, boo-hoo-hoo, anger, denial, denying your options.
The reading says, “When we choose to blame, we choose burden.” This means not having the freedom to do what action needs to be done, trapped with other people who do the same “blame clubs”.
People blame because it gives them a false sense of power. They blame because they want acknowledgment of feelings. Blame is a way for people to try and make sense of things that have happened to them. People blame out of fear of the truth or fear of their own inadequacies.
What do we do when people do things to us (abuse, accidents, betrayal etc.)? The goal is to grow and move forward despite what we face.
Blaming is about judging and looks backward. Responsibility is about understanding and looks forward.
I think this is valuable when working with clients in my niche because these women did not ask for their husbands to be unfaithful. They can choose to sit in blame and unhappiness or they can choose to take responsibility for where they go from here and what they do with what has happened in their marriage.
We began by defining Responsibility: ability to respond, accepting, having an important role, empowering (world is open to them), ownership, obligation with power in the responsibility, making choices, freedom. There is a difference between having a responsibility (obligation) and being responsible.
The reading material says, “When we choose to take responsibility, we choose freedom.” This means that we are in the driver’s seat, in control, not a victim, the one who can take action.
We then defined Blame: ability to react, victim, powerless, boo-hoo-hoo, anger, denial, denying your options.
The reading says, “When we choose to blame, we choose burden.” This means not having the freedom to do what action needs to be done, trapped with other people who do the same “blame clubs”.
People blame because it gives them a false sense of power. They blame because they want acknowledgment of feelings. Blame is a way for people to try and make sense of things that have happened to them. People blame out of fear of the truth or fear of their own inadequacies.
What do we do when people do things to us (abuse, accidents, betrayal etc.)? The goal is to grow and move forward despite what we face.
Blaming is about judging and looks backward. Responsibility is about understanding and looks forward.
I think this is valuable when working with clients in my niche because these women did not ask for their husbands to be unfaithful. They can choose to sit in blame and unhappiness or they can choose to take responsibility for where they go from here and what they do with what has happened in their marriage.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Commitment vs. Trying #2
I was unable to take the second class in this course with the group that I originally started with due to being in the hospital. So, I took the second class on Monday, February 05, 2007. This group of people equated commitment with freedom. The fear of losing freedom of ‘something’ keeps us from completely committing to things.
One student on the call shared that she had an ‘epiphany’ that she was committed to too many things. This really rang true for me. I think I tend to try to do everything and to do it all 100%. The battle of always feeling like I need to do better and need to do more leaves me exhausted and sometimes feeling like I haven’t done everything to its fullest potential. It was also interesting that the idea of ‘resting’ came up because this is an area that I have been challenged in since starting at ICA. Before starting school I always gave myself permission to rest during my ‘little one’s’ nap time, now I find that I fill her nap time with classes and clients.
There could also be a mismatch between what we say we are committed to and what our core values are. Is your time being used wisely more important than seeing something through to the end even if you aren’t excited about what you are doing? Do we commit to things that we don’t like or enjoy? Do we commit to clients that we don’t like? How do we manage when we are in situations where we are committed to things that we don’t enjoy? If we have a client that we don’t really enjoy but yet we are committed to in a coaching relationship? I think that a re-frame or shift in perspective can help. What can we gain or how can we grow by this commitment. I think for me I will remember the goal and need that brought me into coaching. I may not ‘click’ with every woman that wants coaching from me but what I have to offer is a service that can benefit them even if it isn’t uplifting or fulfilling for me. I know that I am not coaching just to be fulfilled but also because there are so many people who need what I have to offer. It is about being selfless instead of selfish.
One student on the call shared that she had an ‘epiphany’ that she was committed to too many things. This really rang true for me. I think I tend to try to do everything and to do it all 100%. The battle of always feeling like I need to do better and need to do more leaves me exhausted and sometimes feeling like I haven’t done everything to its fullest potential. It was also interesting that the idea of ‘resting’ came up because this is an area that I have been challenged in since starting at ICA. Before starting school I always gave myself permission to rest during my ‘little one’s’ nap time, now I find that I fill her nap time with classes and clients.
There could also be a mismatch between what we say we are committed to and what our core values are. Is your time being used wisely more important than seeing something through to the end even if you aren’t excited about what you are doing? Do we commit to things that we don’t like or enjoy? Do we commit to clients that we don’t like? How do we manage when we are in situations where we are committed to things that we don’t enjoy? If we have a client that we don’t really enjoy but yet we are committed to in a coaching relationship? I think that a re-frame or shift in perspective can help. What can we gain or how can we grow by this commitment. I think for me I will remember the goal and need that brought me into coaching. I may not ‘click’ with every woman that wants coaching from me but what I have to offer is a service that can benefit them even if it isn’t uplifting or fulfilling for me. I know that I am not coaching just to be fulfilled but also because there are so many people who need what I have to offer. It is about being selfless instead of selfish.
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