Thursday, May 31, 2007

Moving Forward #2

The second class in this course was held on Thursday, May 31, 2007. Joanne shared a concept that is out there called a “Do It, Ditch It and Delegate It Day”. The idea is that clients call in and say what it is they need to do, ditch or delegate. Then they check back in after they have done this. It is a great concept about making decisions about what really serves your life. Sometimes we need to give up something in order to move forward. As I think about what I have had to give up in order to ‘move forward’ I think the biggest thing would be my own expectations. As a coach this is not something that people who want to reach goals would say we should give up but I was getting stuck in my own expectations instead of opening myself up to see what life had for me, or more specifically what God had for me. I found out that it was much greater than what I had for myself.

Start, Stop & Continue is another take on this concept. What do we need to stop doing? What do we need to start doing? What do we need to continue doing and move forward in? I think that this sort of self evaluation, either for ourselves or our clients, is valuable in the moving forward process.

We talked a lot about what motivates a person to move forward. Is it something that we gain (i.e. money, power or status) or is it something that is in our heart? Would we still want to accomplish x, y or z if there wasn’t anything tangible to gain from it? For me I think that the heart is the driving force behind why I start something. Coaching is an example of this. I wanted to fulfill a need that I heard from women over and over again. However, the rewards I receive (seeing someone have hope, money, etc.) all keep me motivated to stay the course. It also helps me to celebrate my accomplishments in small ways.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Peer Coaching #4

The fourth and final class of this course was held on Wednesday, May 30, 2007. I was very excited to be completing this course. It seems like one of those that just go’s on and on, probably because the classes are so spread out. I have been contemplating my research paper and I am hoping that the topic will be brought up in this last class. According to the info under the Graduation requirements it says that it is talked about in this course and so far I don’t think we have talked much about it.

Since this was the last of four classes we started the class as somewhat of an evaluation of what we have learned from peer coaching.

Angela raised the question: “Are the classes more powerful or doing the coaching more powerful? Which have we learned more from?” I would have to say for me that I have learned more from the classes but that the peer coaching has been what has given me the confidence to coach, the practice of just doing it along with my outside clients. I have also grown in my ability to make ‘small talk’ with people (outside of a coaching situation) whereas I used to struggle to do that with people I don’t know. I have gotten better at asking questions and keeping others talking.

One student was bold enough to share that she found it difficult to coach other coaching students and ‘kudos’ to her for sharing so honestly. I have to agree that it is hard to coach a coach, it is difficult to keep the focus on them – they often try to be the coach. I found this with one of my peer clients. I was challenged to really be on my toes and see when she was trying to make that shift (maybe subconsciously) and be ready to field it and turn it back to her.

Overall, I feel the peer coaching process has been very helpful to the training I have received. It is time consuming and when I was first branching out to find those clients it was a little nerve racking but I have found that I can coach anything and anyone. I have a niche but the principals can be used on any situation. I have learned this about coaching and about myself and that has given me more confidence.

Advanced Coaching Techniques #1

The first class of this course was held on Wednesday, May 30, 2007. It was a great introduction class about the different techniques that can be used in coaching. We started with talking about ‘creation’. Karen asked each of us to share what we wanted to create in our own life. My share for this week was to create simplicity. I feel as a family we are trying to ‘do’ less so that we have more time to enjoy life and each other.

We talked about what to do with a client that comes into a session and doesn’t have goals or anything that they want to talk about. I have experienced this as the client and I think that the way my coach handled it was great and I will handle it the same way when the situation arises. That is to just allow the client to start to talk about some different things that are going on and see if something comes up from there. I found that there were often just little goals or things to work on rather than these big grandiose goals. Another possibility that was brought up was to just say that it is fine and would they like to reschedule for a later time in the week.

We talked about setting specific goals and also about how to allow flexibility in the goals. Realizing that the goals may change and evolve and to allow that to happen as needed. This moves us into using the technique of ‘visualization’. If we are able to help our clients come up with a way to visualize what they want or what it would look like when they achieved their goal it helps the client to be motivated. It may be through a story board, a word picture or an item that represents the goal.

Our homework for next week is to use one of the techniques on our own share for today. So, for me I wanted to create simplicity…now I have to use a technique this week that will support that creation.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Moving Forward #1

The first class for this course was held on Thursday, May 24, 2007. Joanne started by sharing a reading by Cheryl Richardson that was focused around eliminating fear and anxiety. Her overall point was “inaction = anxiety” and “action = peace of mind”. I thought this was a great way to simplify the power of action. The next part of the class was used to share what inaction was like, felt like, looked like, etc. Many people talked about how they physically felt when they were not in action, nausea, headache, ‘yucky’. Some people shared how their mind was mentally stagnant.

So the reverse of inaction being action, how does that feel? Lighter, motivated excited, more joyful, content. Being in action can change what you feel or think about that ‘thing’.

What are some motion questions? Ho w do you get your client to start thinking and moving forward? “Where do you want to be…?” “What can you do this week about…?” “What would happen if…?” “What would someone who is fearless do about that?”

Towards the end of class asked if we as coaches had examples about how we have moved our clients forward…what we did. I tried to come up with an example and I’m not sure that I haven’t done that but I guess I just focus in the moment with my clients and it was difficult to think of a pivotal point where I have used this technique. I am going to try to be more aware of this in my upcoming session and future clients because I think it would be very rewarding to be able to pin-point a time where a client shifted and began to really move forward.

Why do people not move forward? Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, unable to envision what would happen after they accomplished the goal, complacency because it is comfortable, not aligned with their values (internal disconnect), goal may be too large, they aren’t clear about where they want to go or there may be a UAC that is holding them back.

I thought this was a good class that really covered the reading material and gave a good foundation for the next two classes. Our homework for the week is to bring to class a place that we are not in action. I’m not sure I have an area like this because isn’t my personality…I’ll think on it, we’ll see.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Powerful Questions #3

The last class for this course was held on Thursday, May 17, 2007. Joanne facilitated the class by having a couple mini-coaching sessions. The goal for each coaching session was for us to identify powerful questions. The first one had many powerful questions, one that stood out to me was “How can I best coach you around that…?” also, “What is the best case scenario and the worst case scenario?” I have sometimes used, “What is the worst thing that can happen or come of this situation?” These types of questions help the client to see accurately what they are facing. Sometimes the client may be significant about a particular thing but when they look at it in this perspective they are able to see that maybe it isn’t something to get that worked up over.

The second coaching session was difficult. As I was listening I was struggling to figure out where I’d go with the session myself. One question the coached asked was “Is there any thing favorable about…” I really liked this question although it didn’t work in this situation. It is a good question that can shift the client’s perspective. As it turned out this question was powerful for the client because even though she wasn’t able to come up with an answer she said that it would stick with her and keep her thinking about it long after the session, even the next time the situation comes up.

Overall I feel like I learned from this course that asking powerful questions can have many levels or different effects on the client. First, it can be a question that moves the client to deeper thinking and an “aha” moment. Second, that the client doesn’t have to have an answer for that question for it to be powerful...the lasting effects might be what is powerful. Third, some questions might ‘flop’ and we just need to plug along and ask the next question. I found this class to be very helpful and encouraging.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Business Building Group Coaching

This is the very last Business Building class I have! This particular class was held on Tuesday, May 15, 2007. Once again this class is now a ‘group coaching’ class rather than a specific business building technique.

Jim began the class by asking everyone what they wanted to get coaching on. I was not really prepared for this because I have taken most of the classes under the old format and feel like I have a good grasp on the business side of my coaching practice. It took nearly half of the class time for everyone to share what they wanted to coach around. The theme of the class was around targeted marketing.

Jim started by tackling some of the issues around targeted marketing and teaching people ways to better focus on a niche target. One way that he did this was through “mind mapping” – he used the 5 “W’s” = Who, What, Where, When and Why, to help students focus on narrowing down a broad market into something more specific. I think this approach can be used in coaching clients as well. Often time we see things too big and to take the time to focus on these aspects can help us to bring it down to a more manageable size.

Jim also talked about where to go for resources and networking. NBI was brought up and explained a little more in depth which was great for me because I didn’t really understand how it worked – I won’t use it but it was helpful information. Newspapers, and magazines, even those specifically targeting women were brought us as useful places to not only market but find useful resources or contacts.

Overall, it was good final class in business building and I feel very comfortable about where I am at for the time being. I felt the modules were helpful and I am sure that I will refer back to them at some point in time.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Action vs. Delay #2

The second part of this course was held on Monday, May 14, 2007. This class was facilitated by Linda Anderson and I never had her before. She started off the class with asking everyone to write down what their intentions were for the next hour during the class. I really liked the way she started the class, it was different and fresh. My intention today is to mentally engage in the class and to set aside all of the personal things (moving) that I have going on right now.

In reviewing what we talked about last week: moving clients toward action even in small steps, how UAC’s play into action or delay of action, and that there should be purpose to the action, not creating action for action’s sake.

One way that people will delay action is that they will say that they do not yet have enough information to make a decision. I find this so interesting because I really hit this wall with one of my peer clients. I was able to recognize this even though I had not yet had this class. I kept telling her that she has a lot of really great ideas but she wasn’t willing to take the leap to implement them. It was great to see the light bulb go on and for her to realize that there was a fear that was holding her back.

We did an exercise in class that was also in the homework reading and that was to write down what we are ‘in delay’ about and to share it. I really struggled while doing the homework to come up with something that I am delaying and once again I was unable to think of anything. I feel like I am in action and then some in every area of life right now. I have never been much of a “procrastinator” and I am seeing that being in action is very comfortable for me.

This was my very last Power Tool class…it feels great to have another group of classes completed!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Powerful Questions #2

The second class of this course was held on Thursday, May 10, 2007. Part of a quote that Joanne shared was “A question that takes your breath away…” This type of question can bring up things that you never thought about before. The question itself might be different for every client but the idea of the client having an “aha” moment is powerful. A powerful question can also be a question that ‘stumps’ you or makes you ponder for awhile. Asking your client “What does that look like?” “When will it be enough?” or other questions that require a thoughtful response can be powerful questions.

We spent some time in class coming up with questions to ask clients in certain scenarios. I actually shared a thought in this class which I normally don’t do because there are always so many people wanting to talk…it was good to wedge my way into the class and speak up regardless of how difficult it is to get a word in at times. It was great to hear other ideas about questions or direction to take with clients in different scenarios. “What does it look like?” What would it feel like?” or “What would you do if…?” are all questions that constantly arose for each scenario. I think these are questions that kept coming up because it helps the client define why they want to reach that goal and also motivates them as to what they would gain from achieving that goal.

I definitely agree that powerful questions are an important part of coaching. I hope that I will continue to challenge myself to be creative and think outside the box about questions that are powerful. With the coaching that I do with highly co-dependent women I would use powerful questions to help them see their own potential and dreams that have most likely been stuffed down inside them or completely forgotten about.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Practical Ethics

This course was held on Wednesday, May 09, 2007. Jim opened up with referring a book Law and Ethics in Coaching. He then posed the question, “What struck us about the material?” The concept of ‘under committing and over delivering’ was brought up as significant. Piggy-tailing on this it was brought up that the policies and procedures help to spell out what we are committed to. How does this play out in marketing your business? Being careful that you come across as a coach and not a therapist, this is a boundary issue. You can keep these boundaries clear by being forward focused, stating what the client can expect from you and discussing expectations, defining your own ethical standards and sharing your approach to coaching.

Ways to evaluate something from an ethical standpoint: ask questions that have filters to attract the type of clients that have the same standard of ethics, talking with the client about what their level of ethics around a certain issue (it may not be the same as ours), and trusting our gut…if something feels ‘off’ listen to our conscience it may be telling us something.

Indicators that we may be moving into therapy instead of coaching: if client is exhibiting a decline (hopelessness), if they have intrusive thoughts (unable to focus), if they are overly bothered by a significant event, unable to sleep or sleep too much, sudden decrease or increase in appetite, feelings of guilt because others have suffered, feelings of despair – hyper alert, outburst of anger, impulsive or risk taking behavior (stealing), thoughts of death, suicide or harm to others. If we have clients that move toward these things we should refer them to a therapist or mental health professional.

I feel good about where I stand ethically. I believe that my Christian discernment and my desire to live a Christ-like life will help me keep those lines clear. I know there will be areas that may come up that seem a little more gray but I believe that ethical behavior is a part of who I have developed to be and feel confident that I will conduct my coaching business in this way.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Group Coaching #1

This class was held on Tuesday, May 08, 2007. I have two more classes to complete my business coaching group of courses so I have two more classes that fall under the ‘group coaching’ model. I still feel uncomfortable with this change even though it really doesn’t affect me too much. I guess I am more of a structured person and like things to fit together like a puzzle, each piece has its place.

Evidently, the class last week was left with the homework to research information based media for building their business. I am assuming there was interest by the students to either write books or e-books. Lou shared how you can use a blog to help you write and organize your ‘book’ by using ‘tags’ for chapter headings and then moving things around to make it into a coherent piece of writing. Someone had questions about internet security and how it works. The discussion went into great detail around the levels of security and ways and reasons to use this type of security. I found this quite irrelevant to at this time and actually I was discouraged to do anything like this because of how complicated it sounded. I do, however, realize that this is an area that I quickly become ‘turned off’ but I can see my husband utilizing this type of thing sometime in the future.

Lou has a lot of wisdom and experience in ‘computer’ type business. It is just so far from what my mind is able to grasp…or where I feel I want to go. I think I will take the later business class next week with Jim…maybe I’ll be able to relate to where that discussion goes better.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Action vs. Delay #1

The first class for this course was held on Monday, May 07, 2007. This is the last of the Power Tools classes that I have to take. I’m excited to keep seeing the attendance spreadsheet get filled up.

We discussed action but defined what elements are important in ‘action’. One thing that was discussed was that the action needs to be purposeful. It’s easy to get into action for action sake but it may not be moving us toward the goal. We don’t want to wear our clients out by put them into action that isn’t helpful to the goal.

We also talked about timing of action. Delaying action because the timing isn’t right is ok. Delaying action because of fear or procrastination is what we want to move our clients away from. Is everything in place to support and enable the client to reach the goal? What steps might they need to take in order to get the things in place that will support the movement toward the goal?

As we discussed the fact that people delay because they aren’t good at it or don’t like it. One example was handling money in their business. We talked about helping the client to realize the reason behind the ‘delay’ (not being good at it or liking it, for example) and then identify ways that they can handle that weakness (outsourcing, delegating, learning, etc.).

We talked about how UAC’s effect this area of our clients. UAC’s can either move clients into action or they can cause delay. As a coach we don’t want to spend too much time analyzing the clients UAC’s this would be handle with a therapist. Rather, we should, as a coach, acknowledge the UAC and use it (whatever it is) to move our client toward their goal. I have not yet taken the class on UAC’s. I have the first class on Wednesday and I am anxious to learn more about this concept so that I can better understand how they fit in with coaching in general.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Powerful Questions #1

The first class in this course was held on Thursday, May 03, 2007. I gained a lot from the reading material for this module. The class was structured very much around the reading material…going through the different types of questions and what purpose they serve. The other students in the class had the same insight that I had from the reading material basically that lower level questions can lead to higher level questions and closed ended questions can lead to open ended questions.

We eventually turned to characteristics of powerful questions: We discussed the use of certain words: Who, what, where, when, why and how – staying away somewhat from why. Someone brought up using positive words like ‘best’ (ie. “How can I coach you best around that area?”

I really found this module to be helpful to get a word picture of what questioning looks like. I don’t think I gained any new insight in the class that wasn’t in the reading material but I found the discussion about types of questions and how they can be used in a coaching session very helpful.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Cross Cultural Coaching

This class was held on Thursday, May 03, 2007. What is culture? We briefly defined culture as norms, beliefs or values distinct to a society, how we communicate within that. Someone said that “we create our culture by our communication”.

Some challenges that can come while coaching cross-culturally are: Different ways of viewing things based on where we are from, we need to learn from the client what their culture says about something. Misunderstanding or breakdown in communication can occur because culturally we aren’t on the same page.

Some of the positive aspects to coaching cross-culturally could be: Challenges us to broaden our perspective. It could benefit the client in the same way. As we are respectful of their culture they will then be more open to hearing another perspective from another culture.

There are many types of cultures. We often think automatically about another country or race: Gender, family, sexual orientation, age, business/company, religious groups and language.

Language differences can be more than just the language but the meaning or interpretation of those words could be very different. In the beginning of the coaching relationship it would be a good idea to talk about what things may be different or expectations they may have. We can’t assume – we need to ask.

The biggest ‘take away’ today is to be aware of our own assumptions and stereo-types and instead create an open communicative partnership with the client so that culture doesn’t become a roadblock.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

The Challenging Client #2

The second class in this course was held on Wednesday, May 02, 2007. In continuing this course…How do we handle challenging clients? We reviewed that there are ‘thinkers’ (analytical), ‘feelers’ (emotional, expressive) and ‘knowers’ (intuitive) and how recognizing that people are different in these ways and identifying what style our clients are can be helpful in coaching them. Another way to look at this identifying whether a client is extroverted, introverted, fact/detail oriented, intuitive or abstract thinkers. It is about how each client goes about making decisions. If we, as the coach, can identify how our clients operate we will be better able to help them move through their process in a way that is comfortable for them.

Jim gave us a situation that was based around how to deal with an angry client. I found that I would initially try to hear what they are angry at and affirm that I hear what they are expressing, then I would try to identify what the UAC’s of the situation may be and then work toward what the client would want to do with that situation.

I was driving in the car picking my daughter up when the class was going on but I got a lot out of having a specific situation laid out and given the opportunity to come to a conclusion about how I would go about coaching that client, followed up by hearing what other people would do in that situation.

I haven’t had challenging clients so far but I think it is important to acknowledge the persons feeling rather than immediately trying to move them past it. Once you work through the initial feelings of anger (or whatever the other feelings may be) then you can move to the next phase of “now what”.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

E-Coaching/Group Coaching

This class was held on Tuesday, May 01, 2007. This was the first class in the Business Building grouping of classes that is going to be held as “group coaching”. I was hoping that I was going to finish the business building modules before they switched to the new format. I don’t do well with things being changed part way through the process. I am hoping to adjust to this new focus and deal with my own frustration with the constant change in the format at ICA.

This format was difficult to get used to. It was pretty much just a time for people to tell others about resources or what they have done in their own business. Some people asked for suggestions about website builders, project management software, etc…This was actually the first class that I felt the students getting irritated and snappy with each other. I’m not sure why…except that maybe since it was such a free-for-all attitude of the class that everyone had their own ideas about it.

One student brought up the “Action Plan” class and the fact that now she doesn’t have that class to help her build the business action plan. I felt bad for her that she feels like the structure she thought she would get around building her business is no longer available. I hope that ICA will reconsider changing the format of the business modules to be group coaching…I’m just glad that I have already worked through most of the business class before the change over happened.

Power Listening #2

The second class in this course was held on Tuesday, May 01, 2007. I am ecstatic that this is the last of my Foundation classes!!! I should have had it done a long time ago and scheduling conflicts kept on arising…so I am glad to be finishing this up…finally.

We started out talking about how we can better listen and that part of that is to be ‘curious’. Approach the session with the attitude of “I wonder…” Focusing in on why the client thinks or views the situation the way they do. Instead of taking on the thought that they ‘got it wrong’ looking or seeking out what has brought the client to the conclusion they are at.

We also talked about making the client feel safe in a session. Sometimes when we ask questions the client could become defensive. We need to give the client a choice to respond…and to not respond. We have to be careful not to push them into answering a question but allow them to explore what they want to trust us with.

Empathy. Imagining what it feels like for the client on the inside. It is important for the client to see that we, as the coach, are willing to struggle through IT with them. We may not fully understand, but we can be understanding.

I really resonated with this module. I agree that this is a powerful tool in coaching. People need to and want to talk about ‘life’. Many times people come to conclusions just by talking about it out loud. I believe it takes practice to learn how to ask ‘curious’ questions but as we listen to our clients and ask questions that lead them down the road that they are already walking…powerful listening helps us to do that.