tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19887931647509620372024-03-13T06:01:00.797-07:00rebeccaweverrebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-69670243465691064932008-01-21T13:05:00.001-08:002008-01-21T14:15:19.816-08:00Community of PracticeToday and one day last week I sat in on a couple of Community of Practice sessions of other disciplines - Career and Business. I wanted to experience other types of coaching to get a feel for how they may be the same or different from Life Coaching. I still want to sit in on a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Spiritual</span> one as well, although I find myself geared toward Life Coaching as my focus.<br /><br />Both COP had wonderfully executed coaching sessions and although I have done a fair amount of coaching I found myself a bit self-conscious. What stood out the most to me in listening in on these coaching sessions is that the 'process' of coaching is the same no matter what area you find you coach most. I'm not sure why I am intimidated to coach 'business' as opposed to 'life' - it is really the same.<br /><br />Anyway, I have 7 more <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">COP's</span> to attend and even though I have seen that they are all the same in process we'll see if I am willing to be vocal in the other <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">COP's</span>. I guess I should challenge myself to be actively involved in another COP. I'll let you know how that one turns out.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-26132870264800322152008-01-16T16:39:00.000-08:002008-01-16T16:52:06.468-08:002008 UpdateWow how time flies by! I finished up all my class work in the fall but I failed to register for Supervised Coach and therefore was not able to graduate in December. This actually worked out well for me as my family relocated from the west coast to the east coast. We are finally settled and I feel focused on completing the remaining tasks for Graduation. I have 9 practicum, one outside client assessment, Supervised Coach, self-assessment and the log of classes to turn at the end of it all. I have gotten approval for the Coaching Model and Power Tool. I just turned in the written exam minutes before this blog entry.<br /><br />I have been coaching regularly. Currently I have three clients. With three children (two school aged and one pre-schooler) I find that this is enough clients for the time being. I am enjoying the coaching relationships I have and feel like I keep getting more comfortable and confident.<br /><br />I will resume some blogging around the practicums and supervised coaching classes in the coming weeks.<br /><br />I hope all you fellow ICA students are finding yourselves renewed in the new year as well and accomplishing your coaching goals.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-54939317521614750382007-10-03T18:11:00.000-07:002007-10-03T18:45:25.353-07:00Accountability 1 & 2The first class in this course was held on Wednesday, September 26, 2007. I am excited to start and finish this course because it is my last class aside from the Community of Practice and Supervised Coach.<br /><br />Accountability means doing what we say we are going to do, commitment and reliability, being able to answer for your actions or lack of action. Accountability often times includes another person whereas responsibility is more about ourselves. Accountability is linked to expectation. There is usually a set of ‘rules’ by which one is being accountable for or conditions that have been set.<br /><br />We spent a lot of time discussing the difference between accountability and responsibility. I have to admit I was losing a little bit of interest as the debate kept going for so long. <br /><br />The second class was held on Wednesday, October 03, 2007. Someone brought up the question of how to help your clients keep themselves accountable. One idea was to reframe the question by asking what structures they can put into place to support themselves. <br /><br />I found it interesting that someone shared that she got coaching around an issue and the coach gave her such a huge mountain to climb that she felt defeated before she even started and basically sabotaged herself. I think as a coach we have to be careful not to overwhelm our clients – we need to remember that coaching is a process and that the way to reach the big goal is through smaller steps and successes.<br /><br />Someone in the class brought up the idea that asking “Why” is not ok in coaching. Angela thought this was not a black and white idea, rather that “Why” can be a probing question. It can move a person to what they are trying to get to. As she was talking I was thinking of other ways to get to the point of the ‘why’ by asking ‘what’ questions and interestingly enough someone else in the class said the exact same thing - that rather than saying “Why?” trying to ask a question that gets to that essence of the issue through a “WHAT” question.<br /><br />I have not paid that much attention to whether or not I use “Why” questions with my clients and I’m going to try to be more aware of that and be careful not to disempower them by that sort of question.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-91740994332461312192007-09-26T11:27:00.000-07:002007-09-26T11:49:37.241-07:00Celebrating #2The second class in this course was held on Wednesday, September 26, 2007. Last week I was not in the ‘mood’ for celebrating and vowed to work on shifting my perspective over the week. I was able to really focus on the good things or the blessings of my life rather than the frustrations. Every time I started to feel defeated or frustrated about the things that just weren’t quite going the way I thought they should I reminded myself that my family is healthy and happy, that certainly things could be much, much worse and ‘coached’ myself back into moving forward rather than focusing on those things that drag me down.<br /><br />As it turns out this week I feel quite celebratory. There have been some things this week that have occurred in my family that are quite the cause for celebration. I have found that in spite of the frustrations of our cross-country move my children are incredibly well-adjusted and actually happier than I have seen them in years. My husband is more relaxed and happy with the change that has occurred in his work as a result of our move. So even though some of the practical ‘settling in’ things aren’t coming together my family is happy and united and that is the most important thing to me.<br /><br />The class today was around how we will celebrate with our clients. Karen did some ‘role plays’ that would help us to know how to celebrate with our clients when they have successes. Ask the clients “How can we celebrate this accomplishment?” If the client has something tangible ask them to send it, share it…a picture, a writing that they have done or an invitation to an ‘opening’. <br /><br />The second role play was a situation that the client didn’t accomplish what it was that they set out to accomplish. Celebration is always in order. How do we celebrate with a client who hasn’t reached the ‘goal’? We celebrate the effort, the values, the showing up just to say that they didn’t accomplish the goal. We need to look for the things that can be acknowledged and celebrated at every session. It is empowering and encouraging for the client when they can focus on what they have done rather than where they failed.<br /><br />I think I used acknowledgement a lot in my sessions. I’m going to work at taking that to the next level and actually turning that acknowledgement into a form of celebration with my clients.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-4793700867700362282007-09-19T11:26:00.000-07:002007-09-19T11:51:49.767-07:00Celebrating #1The first class of this course was held on Wednesday, September 19, 2007. I have to say that I’m not in a “celebration” mood and frustrated that I was not open to celebrating with all the people in class. It has been bad week and stressful 3 months for me and I am having a hard time engaging in anything that would be cause for celebration.<br /><br />One thing that was brought up as a tool for celebration is a “joy journal” – a structure to help people focus on the things in their life that they can celebrate.<br /><br />One person shared that at one point when she was feeling really down and discouraged and wanting to give up she stopped and wrote down what she had done and tried to focus on the positive. I know that this is what I should do right now because I know that I am focused on what isn’t going according to plan rather than what has gone well or where things are better.<br /><br />Another way of using celebrating in coaching is to have a celebration session. Taking one session, maybe after 12 weeks, to reflect on what the client has accomplished over the 12 weeks. Possibly type up the session notes in such a way that shows what they want to accomplish and how and where they accomplished it – and celebrate it.<br /><br />This was actually a very powerful class for me today. I really came into the class in a ‘bad’ place and as I listened to others in class talk about different ways of celebrating and about having an attitude of celebration - how even failure can be reason for celebration. I don’t know that I will walk away today with renewed hope or continue to feel defeated but I can see that it is something for me to contemplate this week.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-10936577101355609432007-09-17T09:53:00.000-07:002007-09-17T09:54:04.046-07:00Powerful Requests #2I took the second class to this course on Monday, September 17, 2007. I was moving across country during the second class and lost cell phone service. I have felt very incomplete because I like to take the classes for each course all at once and not have such a huge gap in between. After so much time elapsing I’m glad to get this course completed.<br /><br />With the discussion being on Powerful Requests someone brought up what is different about a powerful request instead of just asking them to do something. Some things that came up were that they are challenged to go outside of their comfort zone and initiate change or it might uncover a fear or something that is blocking them from moving forward. <br /><br />Someone on the class brought up how this can be used in group coaching. Karen shared that she has used this in group coaching both geared toward an individual or as a group. As long as the coach is clear that they can either accept it, say no or make a counter offer. First, as a coach, we should ask if everyone feels comfortable doing this thing this week and then ask if anyone would want to ‘customize’ the request for their situation.<br /><br />In my coaching practice I think that I use powerful requests. I try to find the ‘action’ or ‘request’ that pushes the client to move a step beyond where they were at the beginning of the coaching call. Personally I think I need to make a powerful request of myself to work on my Research Paper. I have not done a research paper in so long that I’m almost paralyzed to know where to start. I need to figure out how I am going to move through that.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-91463446281232463452007-09-13T12:50:00.000-07:002007-09-13T12:51:34.183-07:00Empowering #3The third and final class in this course was held on Thursday, September 13, 2007. As expected we were to engage in some coaching practice around ‘empowering’. The person who volunteered to be the client was dealing with a situation where they were having trouble at work – sort of a third wheel, animosity type issue. The coach did a good job listening to the client and gave a suggestion about calling a meeting with her team, a little while later she suggested not being a part of a team. I think it was difficult to ask questions around this but may she could have tried “What have you tried to resolve this issue?” “What are other options for a solution?” “What do you desire in the long run for your business?” I don’t like to have a critical attitude of the coaching sessions but I felt the coach gave too many suggestions. The coach eventually got back to asking what the client could do in the next week to look towards changing her circumstances. She also encouraged her and empowered her that she doesn’t have to “buy into the drama”. She summed up the session by asking her what she took away from the session.<br /><br />The observers saw some good things…being present, acknowledging the client, helping her shift her perspective, helping her get in touch with what it would feel like to ‘do’ something else, taking her into action and overall empowering her.<br /><br />As I think about ‘empowering’ my clients I hope that I do. The women that I coach often times feel powerless as a result of the breakdown in the marriage. My desire is that I am able to help them see that they are not powerless and help them to discover ways that they can be empowered through the own identity in Christ and gifts and talents that they possess.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-84925897606756040232007-09-12T13:21:00.001-07:002007-09-12T13:21:24.911-07:00Structures #3The third and final class in the Structures course was held on Wednesday, September 12, 2007. Since it is the last class I expected that Karen would have us do some coaching in class. The first coaching session was about a person that was thing to cut some things out of her life, wanting to slow down and get away from the hecticness. As it turned out it was more about cultural connection and needing to stay socially connected with her friends when she moves. The structure that she came up with was that she needed to make sure she had times on her calendar when she could get together with other women of her culture regularly. The coach was able to get her talking therefore she was able to come up with some thoughts about what she could do. The coach did a great job of getting her to commit to making a plan. <br /><br />Karen shared some ways that she uses structures in coaching. Values clarifications assessment, does the decision they are making line up with what they say their values are. I really like this structure!!! As a coach listening for these values and acknowledging them when they are fitting into that and challenging them or helping them see if their decision doesn’t align.<br /><br />A coaching model is a structure. I use my coaching model while I coach. I’m sure that I don’t hit on every single aspect in ever session but I use it as a guide to keep me focused on moving forward in the coaching relationship and staying well-rounded in my overall coaching role.<br /><br />Karen also shared self-care as a structure for the coach. That we go into a session ready to engage the client…hydrated, rested, spiritually balanced and emotionally stable and present. I think this is one that I do naturally just because this is who I am. I know for some people who may have a more hectic life (another job or family issues) they may not always be very together. I am at a place in life that I have lived through intense crisis and even if my life isn’t going great I am able to keep it in perspective and function pretty much the same. Admittedly I’ve not always been grounded enough for that but I feel I am now.<br /><br />I think the biggest thing that I take away from this class is the values assessment. I think on a subconscious level I am aware of general values and belief systems but really focusing in on whether the client is acting within their own belief system is something I plan to give more attention to.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-56290368554707138612007-09-06T13:49:00.000-07:002007-09-06T13:52:38.323-07:00Truth Telling #2The second class in this course was held on Thursday, September 06, 2007. Joanne started the class by sharing a reading about ‘truth’. As she was reading it I found that not only did the author struggle with wanting truth to reign in her life but that she struggled with ‘co-dependency’. I know this is a very clinical or therapeutic term but this is what I deal with my clients on a regular basis. Most of the women that I work with push aside what is truth in order to keep others ‘happy’ or ‘keep the peace’.<br /><br />The conversation went back to what truth is. Many people think that not telling someone something is not being truthful. Some people have a more gray view of truth. I can remember when I was in college this was such a controversial issue about what truth is….the conversation today was very much along those lines. Even though I think that the idea of truth is actually very narrow it makes people uncomfortable so they try to stretch the idea of truth to fit their own needs.<br /><br />For me, as a coach or in life in general, truth is an asset. No one benefits from being lied to, ego stroked, or not told what is right in front of them. We can all tell ourselves whatever we want to believe or whatever feels good at the time but it doesn’t change what really is.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-56646172683226217162007-09-06T12:57:00.000-07:002007-09-06T12:58:07.497-07:00Empowering #2The second class in this course was held on Thursday, September 06, 2007. The focus of the class was on how we can empower or enthuse our clients. There were so any different things brought up. One thing that Joanne brought up was sometimes using a blunt somewhat humorous approach. Sometimes this can help people take themselves less seriously. If our relationship with the client is good I think that this can be effective. Sometimes we need others to keep things, or our view of our self, in perspective. Also, using honesty in this way to say, “I don’t mind sitting with you every week but until you decide you’re ready to take action we are going to be in the same place” can be very effective. Someone else brought up using visualization to help the client see what it might be like ‘if’. I think this would be an effective way to empower a client because it helps them see why they are working toward what they are. Rewards for certain achievements can empower and motivate our clients as well. The reward should fit the achievement and be worth there effort. As a coach I think I will look for what it is that works for each client. We as individuals are all motivated by different things and it is a role of the coach to help the client find what motivates them and how they can use those things to help them accomplish the things that are important to them.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-45820564357635407032007-08-30T14:07:00.002-07:002007-08-30T14:10:01.781-07:00Empowering #1The first class in this course was held on Thursday, August 30, 2007. The class was facilitated by a substitute. We began the class by introducing ourselves and sharing something that we do to empower ourselves in our coaching. Everyone shared great ideas from visualization to meditation. I shared how I try to remind myself that the session isn’t about me and how that opens me up to being more present for the client.<br /><br />The coaching session may not be empowered if the client is not ‘coachable’. We might be able to tell if the client isn’t coachable if we sense resistance; the client is stuck in the past/they are just not ready yet; they are mandated to be their by a boss/spouse/parent or the client doesn’t take action. If we run into this situation, an uncoachable client, we can confront it head on…have the client write down what their expectations are or what they want to accomplish. We can also make a request of the client which could help them move through the ‘stagnant’ stage. We can asked them to define what they think coachability looks like and then to live those out in their daily life. We can also enthuse our client into coachability. Putting a vision out there to them and helping them to get excited about what it is they are working towards. We can enthuse by acknowledging our client and getting excited about them and what they are doing.<br /><br />I was distracted at the end of class by my children and their homework assignments and getting them settled in after school. I missed the part where she talked about what we would be discussing next week or if we had any fieldwork.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-72803001040391418452007-08-30T14:07:00.001-07:002007-08-30T14:07:52.197-07:00Truth Telling #1The first class for this course was held on Thursday, August 30, 2007. I knew before this class even began that the concept of ‘absolute truth’ would come up. The concept that everyone’s ‘truth’ is different depending on their experiences. I feel this is more perception rather than truth – I do believe that there are things that are absolute, and that truth is based in fact.<br /><br />The question was posed by the facilitator of what the difference is between truth and opinion. I think that what people sometimes view as their own ‘truth’ is actually their opinion.<br /><br />Truth telling in coaching is about stating what is fact, “You did not do x when you said that you would.” When we as coaches use honesty rather than truth is may be a little more about how we feel about the situation. I don’t think that a coach should be too opinionated in the coaching session. Sometimes the client wants to know what you think and sometimes it can give a different perspective that the client may not have thought about. I try to be careful not to abuse the honor of sharing my opinion but use leading questions that can draw out another point of view. <br /><br />Opinions can turn to judgments if we start to put our own thoughts or ideas on the client. When we try to get them to agree or we tell them what they ‘should’ do about it it becomes judgment.<br /><br />I think it is important to let the client know that they can expect the truth from us and that we would like them to reciprocate by telling us the truth as well. We can convey this trough our websites, brochures and verbally during the trial session. We can convey it by doing it in the sessions and building a trust and rapport with them of being truthful.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-6174938941324288292007-08-29T13:55:00.000-07:002007-08-29T13:56:11.997-07:00Structures #1The first class in this course was held on Wednesday, August 29, 2007. I have had a long break from classes because of our cross-country move. I am anxious to get back into the classes and try to finish up the requirements for graduation in June. I was hoping to graduate in December but with our move I was not astute enough to realize I needed to register for the Supervised Coach class. I have worked through the disappointment of failing in this goal and have shifted my perspective to a realization that I now have some time to breathe as I accomplish the remaining requirements. I also had to step back and remind myself that when I began taking classes 10 months ago I slated myself to graduate in June 2008, so I am actually ‘right on track’. Is that a rationalization for my failure or shifting my perspective? Who knows but it works for me.<br /><br />We started the class today by answering the question: What is a structure? Many things were thrown out…Boundaries, rules to follow, a support system, routines, habits, rituals, tools, assistants, discipline and accountability.<br /><br />Examples of structures and what they support: walking regularly to get fit; having a coach to keep accountable; keeping a calendar to accomplish goals; routine to keep sane; dates with spouse to stay connected; going to church to stay connected with God and grow. I think we all have so many structures that we may not even have thought of as structures because they are so much a part of life.<br /><br />We can also have structures that DO NOT support us. One person shared that they have set up a structure that they must work in their office…they don’t like their office and they actually get less done when they are there. I’m sure I have structures that may not support me as well and will be pondering this concept over the next week.<br /><br />For next week we are to identify some empowering and disempowering structures in our own life. It will interesting and challenging to evaluate my own structures in this way.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-31369345737340371892007-07-27T06:40:00.001-07:002007-07-27T06:40:22.620-07:00Reframing #1The first class in this course was held on Thursday, July 19, 2007. I took this class as I drove across country and was unable to take notes as the class was in session. I actually think that in some ways I was better able to engage in the class when all I had was my ears. Not that I don’t get a lot out of the classes when I am sitting in my living room with my computer at my finger tips, but I was solely relying on listening. <br /><br />As soon as we began to dive into the topic of reframing someone in the class asked for a clearer definition of what reframing is. Rather than just give us a word by word ‘definition’ Joanne engaged us in an exercise that we were then able to dialog about which gave us example of what reframing is about. The exercise was to think about something that was frustrating us at the moment and to then shift our perspective or reframe our thinking about that situation. There was a lot of really great sharing about what different students experienced with that for themselves as well as experiences that they have seen their clients have with this. It really is such a basic ‘common sense’ concept but so often difficult to do when one is caught up in the struggle and emotional about it.<br /><br />Our homework for this week was a piggy back off of this exercise. We were to again think about this frustration that we were having, define what our perspective is about it, reframe our perspective and then take an action toward that reframe and be ready to share it next week. For me it was easy to come up with a frustration because we are in the process of moving across country and there are a lot of added stressors that come with a big move. I have been frustrated with feeling “gouged” or ‘taken’ by everyone…like we can’t ever get a break and be the one that comes our ahead. From the buyers, to the realtor, the movers and the insurance company…they all dig their claws in and take all they can get. My perspective is that we never get to be the one to come our ahead, we always get the raw end of the deal. My reframe is that I get to have a great adventure and that in the long run we are the ones getting the best bargain by this move as a whole. My action step toward this reframe is to be focused on the end result and how fortunate we are to be able to make this extraordinary move that will ultimate be for the betterment of our family.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-80018481653177329792007-07-18T17:46:00.000-07:002007-07-18T17:47:18.745-07:00Powerful Requests #1The first class in this course was held on Wednesday, July 18, 2007. I was feeling overwhelmed at taking the class today because not only have I had a three week break from classes but I am also in the middle of a cross-country move. As I sit here taking my class I have four movers buzzing around extracting furniture from my home. I am excited about the new adventure that my family and I are embarking on but stressed out with the details and chaos of it all.<br /><br />What makes a request powerful? It may have an element of stretching or challenging the client. It may mean stepping out of their comfort zone and take a risk. It moves the client into action rather than just talking about it. When a client moves into this area we as coaches need to hold the client accountable, checking in with them that they are moving forward. We can also acknowledge and enthuse them to keep them motivated and engaged in the challenge they are undergoing. We should also celebrate with them as they move through the smaller steps that they accomplish along their way to the big goal.<br /><br />How can we help people to reflect on their experience to see what they have accomplished and get as much out of it as they can? Asking them to share what the experience was like for them, what happened as well as their reaction to it. Questions that we could ask to help the client really reflect and learn from the experience: “How did you feel about accomplishing that?” “Have you incurred any consequences or rewards because of this change?” “What assumptions did you make that empowered you and what assumptions did you make that hindered you?” <br /><br />After Action Review – What were the actions? What did I learn? What could I do differently next time? Again this is a technique to look back at what the goal or challenge was and what was done and then what was learned in the situation.<br /><br />Based on today’s class there is so much more to powerful requests that to just challenge the client into action…the more important part is to follow-up the challenge or ‘powerful request’ with an evaluation of sorts.<br /><br />I feel like as a coach I do this quite well. I spend a good part of my coaching sessions going over what the client said they wanted to accomplish and reflecting on if they were able to do that and how they did it. The part that I need to improve on is the “What did you learn?” part.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-5015159715627248092007-06-13T17:58:00.000-07:002007-06-13T17:59:14.290-07:00UAC #2The second class in this course was held on Wednesday, June 13, 2007. We started the class discussing the different people that Jim recommended for reading in last weeks class: Robert Kegan and Albert Ellis. We moved into discussing Motivational Interviewing and how it plays into coaching. Jim took us through a model called Stages of Change Model. There were 7 stages: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparing to Take Action, Employ It, Fall of the Wagon, Maintenance (evidently I missed one). As a coach we come into play during the contemplation stage, the client has decided that they want this change in their life and they are looking for someone to help them with it. Motivational Interviewing comes in when they are having ambivalence toward the change that they say they want and we ask questions that lead them to seeing the benefits and drawbacks to what it is they want to change. As we ask these questions they will begin to focus on the reasons to change and therefore they will increase their motivation and decrease their resistance, without us telling them what they should do.<br /><br />As I think about this concept and how I need to apply it to my own coaching style, I see that I don’t spend enough time weighing the different scenarios in my coaching sessions. I can remember a time when I did do that and would ask what the worst case scenario would be or what it would look like if a situation went a particular direction. I seem to have gotten away from that and want to move back into that more. As mentioned in an earlier blog, I had a couple coaching sessions that I got off the phone feeling less than good about and I have been able to see some techniques I could have tried that may have helped the session go better.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-59944262718885095392007-06-13T11:58:00.000-07:002007-06-13T11:59:08.744-07:00Advanced Coaching Techniques #3The last class for this course was held on Wednesday, June 13, 2007. We had a fill-in facilitator for this final class so we began by recapping the last two classes and what we talked about. One thing that continues to ring true in all the classes is that we all have our own style and techniques and that if we have confidence we can bring our own flavor and approach to the session, we can draw on the things that we have learned (techniques and tools) and still have a successful coaching relationship.<br /><br />Sheri brought up the “should” factor and how many times a client will come in and have a goal that they feel like they should do something and as the coach we can help them figure out if it is really what they really want. <br /><br />The metaphor was brought up again about “putting your own mask on when on an airplane”, taking care of ourselves first so that we are able to help others. It is a great tool to be able to give the client a visual or word picture to help them understand a concept. I think this is an area that I could use more refining on. I don’t always think about creating a picture for the client in this way…I’m going to try this more and see if it can become a new tool for me to use in coaching sessions.<br /><br />About half way through the class we experienced a coaching session. I appreciated that Sheri stressed the fact that this should be a positive and safe environment for people to experience coaching. I was not feeling very bold in offering to be the coach because I had two sessions yesterday that I felt went poorly; I was lacking confidence in today’s class.<br /><br />The coaching session was about how the client could make her coaching business more visual. The session was a “laser” session, in essence short and sweet. The coach wrapped up the session by asking the client if she felt complete in the session. It was brought up that in supervised coaching and the ICF both look for this at the end of a session. I think this is another area that I need to be more conscious of. I often recap what the client is moving toward over the next week but maybe asking more specifically “What are you taking away from our session today” may be a good tactic to try implementing.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-39744023378749374902007-06-07T13:17:00.000-07:002007-06-07T13:58:36.315-07:00Moving Forward #3The last class for this course was held on Thursday, June 07, 2007. Being the last class we were focused on doing coaching around moving forward. <br /><br />The coaching session was around moving the client toward getting an office. The client was very clear about why she wanted to get an office but found that she wasn’t moving in that direction. Her hesitation came from not knowing where to look, who to ask, and cost of an office. The client has moved to a new town and feels very insecure. The coach did a good job making sure that she had defined what she is looking for in an office, her ideal situation. The coach had asked her where the fear of rejection came from and hit it on the head that she had experienced that in her new country. She practiced psychology previous to moving and her degree is useless where she moved to, she is very discouraged. The coach then encouraged her to find a support group of coaches. As it turned out she had just that morning emailed a connection she had with a coach in Milan. The coached used a powerful question in the way of, “What could you try if you had no reservation?” She had an upcoming get together with some women that she sighted as a possibility. He challenged her to not only express her need (for an office) but also do a sample coaching session in order to help them understand. He encouraged her that it could be the start of a network. He ended by challenging her (or asking) for a deadline that she could set for herself by which to try these things.<br /><br />The phone line was really poor ob this class and it was difficult to remain focused for the entire hour. I have to admit by the end of the class when people were sharing what they had learned in class to today I was watching the clock. I think that there are a lot of ways to help the client move forward: powerful questions, enthusing, powerful listening, setting goals, creating action, identifying UAC’s, raising awareness, holding client accountable, the list can go on and on. The key is to find what works for each client and also to identify what the roadblocks are for that client. The role of the coach is to help the client move forward and I think that all the things that we learn at ICA are focused around that aspect.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-29675166195205538282007-06-06T17:57:00.000-07:002007-06-06T18:02:50.299-07:00UAC #1The first class in this three class course was held on Wednesday, June 6, 2007. I have been looking forward to taking this course because although I feel like I understand what this concept is I wanted to hear some instruction around it to get a better grasp on it and what to do with it.<br /><br />UAC’s are our judgments about ourselves and the world around us. Our belief system and the rules we live by. They could be formed by our upbringing, religious beliefs or things that we have been taught or experienced. It may be something that we may be unaware of but they are just there for whatever reason.<br /><br />It is important to understand this as a coach because it helps us to get to the true feelings behind the words. By asking powerful questions you can help the client rethink their belief about something. <br /><br />The conversation shifted to coaching versus counseling and it seemed like the class couldn’t move off this topic and get back to the topic of UAC’s. Kudos to Jim, he really kept trying to steer the discussion back to that and the class seemed really stuck on the differences between coaching and other roles. <br /><br />I think that as a coach it is important to not try and fix someone’s UAC. It is ok to ask “Where do you think that belief came from? or “Why do you feel that way?” However, I think the job of the coach is to take the UAC and help the client learn how to use their UAC’s either to move forward or help them see how they have blocked them and how they can stop letting them stop them.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-74043792765112690312007-06-06T11:34:00.000-07:002007-06-06T12:00:57.266-07:00Advanced Coaching Techniques #2The second class for this course was held on Wednesday, June 06, 2007. We began with talking about the “wrong trap”. We discussed how we can move the client to the topic of the day without saying ‘What is wrong?’ Some different questions that we could ask instead are: “What would you like to achieve?” “How can I support you?” “What would you like to focus on today?” Along the same line we may encounter a client that doesn’t know what they want coaching on. What can we do with the client that doesn’t know what they want to coach on? A good question to ask is “What do you want more of?”<br /><br />Defining the Opportunity – What more is there for the client…moving into creating. Sometimes people move toward things out of a sense of guilt. We as coaches need to be careful not to move the client forward in this way. What are other ways to move clients forward without using guilt? Enthusing the client into action or helping them create a goal, are a couple of ways we can do this.<br /><br />Personal Basics – Self Care. We were asked to think of three things we have done for someone else, what came to my mind was: made husband lunch, took kids to the park, had the neighbor girl over to give her mom a break.<br />Then we were asked to list three things we have done for ourselves, I listed: started walking, cut my hair, eat healthier & drink more water. <br />There is a direct correlation between caring for ourselves and having the energy and focus we have for others. I have found this week that when I feel good and take care of myself I actually have more energy for others. <br /><br />Self acknowledgement is also essential to self-care. We tend to shy away from it because we don’t want to become arrogant. Another aspect is asking for what we want. When we don’t express ourselves we can harbor resentment which serves nobody. <br /><br />I felt good about today’s class. I feel like have implemented so much needed self-care into my life and I feel like I have a good grasp on these Advanced Coaching Techniques that we talked about in the first two of the three classes.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-86563897847404182202007-06-04T18:18:00.001-07:002007-06-04T18:18:47.102-07:00Community of Practice #1Today, Monday, June 04, 2007, I attended my first Community of Practice. I have to admit that I was nervous about being thrown into a coaching role on the first class and as it turned out there were volunteers ready and waiting. I know that at some point I will have to be both the client and the coach but I wanted to just see how the class went first. The class was basically the same as other classes that have mini coaching sessions within them.<br /><br />The client today wanted coaching around striking a balance between disciplining her 7 year old daughter that held her value/principles and giving her daughter room for freedom. I see as I reiterate the situation that she really answered her own issue in the stating of the situation. The coach did a really good job of giving reflective feedback and empathizing and connecting with the client, bringing in things from his own life that mirrored what she was talking about. He worked his way through painting a picture of the family, each person’s role in the family, what the child was like, what the client tended to do in certain situations etc. He gently made suggestions about different things to try but did it in such a way that it was more of a question to the client than advice that she should follow. A good question that the coach asked was “What is a discipline issue and what is a being a child issue?” I thought this was a great question to help the client see that at some point she may be putting adult expectations on a child. Certain behaviors she described weren’t “naughty” rather she was just being 7. The coach also talked about a “Family Values (Mission) Statement”. I thought this was a good direction to go because it helps to identify what the expectations are for the family. He also suggested allowing the child to be a part of defining the Family Values Statement. This brought the session to the crux of the issue, giving the daughter room to spread her wings a little bit and make some decisions, in essence, giving the daughter responsibility and freedom to some degree, with parental controls (she is only 7 after all).<br /><br />I probably would have gone a different direction with the coaching session. I would have asked questions around what she has already tried, what the relationship was like now, what she hoped the relationship would look like, etc.. I’m not sure if it would have ended up at the same conclusion or not. The client was clear at the beginning of the session that she wanted to walk away with an exercise, something that she could try. I think she knew what she needed to do from the beginning she just couldn’t see it until she went through the channels of processing.<br /><br />I hope to take the next Community of Practice class on Monday…maybe I’ll volunteer for something…we’ll see!rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-5720403020766427622007-05-31T16:51:00.000-07:002007-05-31T16:53:06.069-07:00Moving Forward #2The second class in this course was held on Thursday, May 31, 2007. Joanne shared a concept that is out there called a “Do It, Ditch It and Delegate It Day”. The idea is that clients call in and say what it is they need to do, ditch or delegate. Then they check back in after they have done this. It is a great concept about making decisions about what really serves your life. Sometimes we need to give up something in order to move forward. As I think about what I have had to give up in order to ‘move forward’ I think the biggest thing would be my own expectations. As a coach this is not something that people who want to reach goals would say we should give up but I was getting stuck in my own expectations instead of opening myself up to see what life had for me, or more specifically what God had for me. I found out that it was much greater than what I had for myself.<br /><br />Start, Stop & Continue is another take on this concept. What do we need to stop doing? What do we need to start doing? What do we need to continue doing and move forward in? I think that this sort of self evaluation, either for ourselves or our clients, is valuable in the moving forward process.<br /><br />We talked a lot about what motivates a person to move forward. Is it something that we gain (i.e. money, power or status) or is it something that is in our heart? Would we still want to accomplish x, y or z if there wasn’t anything tangible to gain from it? For me I think that the heart is the driving force behind why I start something. Coaching is an example of this. I wanted to fulfill a need that I heard from women over and over again. However, the rewards I receive (seeing someone have hope, money, etc.) all keep me motivated to stay the course. It also helps me to celebrate my accomplishments in small ways.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-75760956017684346492007-05-30T14:55:00.000-07:002007-05-30T16:06:07.670-07:00Peer Coaching #4The fourth and final class of this course was held on Wednesday, May 30, 2007. I was very excited to be completing this course. It seems like one of those that just go’s on and on, probably because the classes are so spread out. I have been contemplating my research paper and I am hoping that the topic will be brought up in this last class. According to the info under the Graduation requirements it says that it is talked about in this course and so far I don’t think we have talked much about it.<br /><br />Since this was the last of four classes we started the class as somewhat of an evaluation of what we have learned from peer coaching. <br /><br />Angela raised the question: “Are the classes more powerful or doing the coaching more powerful? Which have we learned more from?” I would have to say for me that I have learned more from the classes but that the peer coaching has been what has given me the confidence to coach, the practice of just doing it along with my outside clients. I have also grown in my ability to make ‘small talk’ with people (outside of a coaching situation) whereas I used to struggle to do that with people I don’t know. I have gotten better at asking questions and keeping others talking.<br /><br />One student was bold enough to share that she found it difficult to coach other coaching students and ‘kudos’ to her for sharing so honestly. I have to agree that it is hard to coach a coach, it is difficult to keep the focus on them – they often try to be the coach. I found this with one of my peer clients. I was challenged to really be on my toes and see when she was trying to make that shift (maybe subconsciously) and be ready to field it and turn it back to her.<br /><br />Overall, I feel the peer coaching process has been very helpful to the training I have received. It is time consuming and when I was first branching out to find those clients it was a little nerve racking but I have found that I can coach anything and anyone. I have a niche but the principals can be used on any situation. I have learned this about coaching and about myself and that has given me more confidence.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-81522149897767040352007-05-30T14:54:00.000-07:002007-05-30T14:55:10.647-07:00Advanced Coaching Techniques #1The first class of this course was held on Wednesday, May 30, 2007. It was a great introduction class about the different techniques that can be used in coaching. We started with talking about ‘creation’. Karen asked each of us to share what we wanted to create in our own life. My share for this week was to create simplicity. I feel as a family we are trying to ‘do’ less so that we have more time to enjoy life and each other.<br /><br />We talked about what to do with a client that comes into a session and doesn’t have goals or anything that they want to talk about. I have experienced this as the client and I think that the way my coach handled it was great and I will handle it the same way when the situation arises. That is to just allow the client to start to talk about some different things that are going on and see if something comes up from there. I found that there were often just little goals or things to work on rather than these big grandiose goals. Another possibility that was brought up was to just say that it is fine and would they like to reschedule for a later time in the week.<br /><br />We talked about setting specific goals and also about how to allow flexibility in the goals. Realizing that the goals may change and evolve and to allow that to happen as needed. This moves us into using the technique of ‘visualization’. If we are able to help our clients come up with a way to visualize what they want or what it would look like when they achieved their goal it helps the client to be motivated. It may be through a story board, a word picture or an item that represents the goal.<br /><br />Our homework for next week is to use one of the techniques on our own share for today. So, for me I wanted to create simplicity…now I have to use a technique this week that will support that creation.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1988793164750962037.post-39860759953605543862007-05-24T13:49:00.000-07:002007-05-24T13:58:58.115-07:00Moving Forward #1The first class for this course was held on Thursday, May 24, 2007. Joanne started by sharing a reading by Cheryl Richardson that was focused around eliminating fear and anxiety. Her overall point was “inaction = anxiety” and “action = peace of mind”. I thought this was a great way to simplify the power of action. The next part of the class was used to share what inaction was like, felt like, looked like, etc. Many people talked about how they physically felt when they were not in action, nausea, headache, ‘yucky’. Some people shared how their mind was mentally stagnant.<br /><br />So the reverse of inaction being action, how does that feel? Lighter, motivated excited, more joyful, content. Being in action can change what you feel or think about that ‘thing’.<br /><br />What are some motion questions? Ho w do you get your client to start thinking and moving forward? “Where do you want to be…?” “What can you do this week about…?” “What would happen if…?” “What would someone who is fearless do about that?”<br /><br />Towards the end of class asked if we as coaches had examples about how we have moved our clients forward…what we did. I tried to come up with an example and I’m not sure that I haven’t done that but I guess I just focus in the moment with my clients and it was difficult to think of a pivotal point where I have used this technique. I am going to try to be more aware of this in my upcoming session and future clients because I think it would be very rewarding to be able to pin-point a time where a client shifted and began to really move forward.<br /><br />Why do people not move forward? Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, unable to envision what would happen after they accomplished the goal, complacency because it is comfortable, not aligned with their values (internal disconnect), goal may be too large, they aren’t clear about where they want to go or there may be a UAC that is holding them back. <br /><br />I thought this was a good class that really covered the reading material and gave a good foundation for the next two classes. Our homework for the week is to bring to class a place that we are not in action. I’m not sure I have an area like this because isn’t my personality…I’ll think on it, we’ll see.rebeccaweverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04504192536166980548noreply@blogger.com0