Community of Practice #1

Today, Monday, June 04, 2007, I attended my first Community of Practice. I have to admit that I was nervous about being thrown into a coaching role on the first class and as it turned out there were volunteers ready and waiting. I know that at some point I will have to be both the client and the coach but I wanted to just see how the class went first. The class was basically the same as other classes that have mini coaching sessions within them.

The client today wanted coaching around striking a balance between disciplining her 7 year old daughter that held her value/principles and giving her daughter room for freedom. I see as I reiterate the situation that she really answered her own issue in the stating of the situation. The coach did a really good job of giving reflective feedback and empathizing and connecting with the client, bringing in things from his own life that mirrored what she was talking about. He worked his way through painting a picture of the family, each person’s role in the family, what the child was like, what the client tended to do in certain situations etc. He gently made suggestions about different things to try but did it in such a way that it was more of a question to the client than advice that she should follow. A good question that the coach asked was “What is a discipline issue and what is a being a child issue?” I thought this was a great question to help the client see that at some point she may be putting adult expectations on a child. Certain behaviors she described weren’t “naughty” rather she was just being 7. The coach also talked about a “Family Values (Mission) Statement”. I thought this was a good direction to go because it helps to identify what the expectations are for the family. He also suggested allowing the child to be a part of defining the Family Values Statement. This brought the session to the crux of the issue, giving the daughter room to spread her wings a little bit and make some decisions, in essence, giving the daughter responsibility and freedom to some degree, with parental controls (she is only 7 after all).

I probably would have gone a different direction with the coaching session. I would have asked questions around what she has already tried, what the relationship was like now, what she hoped the relationship would look like, etc.. I’m not sure if it would have ended up at the same conclusion or not. The client was clear at the beginning of the session that she wanted to walk away with an exercise, something that she could try. I think she knew what she needed to do from the beginning she just couldn’t see it until she went through the channels of processing.

I hope to take the next Community of Practice class on Monday…maybe I’ll volunteer for something…we’ll see!