The first class in this course was held on Thursday, July 19, 2007. I took this class as I drove across country and was unable to take notes as the class was in session. I actually think that in some ways I was better able to engage in the class when all I had was my ears. Not that I don’t get a lot out of the classes when I am sitting in my living room with my computer at my finger tips, but I was solely relying on listening.
As soon as we began to dive into the topic of reframing someone in the class asked for a clearer definition of what reframing is. Rather than just give us a word by word ‘definition’ Joanne engaged us in an exercise that we were then able to dialog about which gave us example of what reframing is about. The exercise was to think about something that was frustrating us at the moment and to then shift our perspective or reframe our thinking about that situation. There was a lot of really great sharing about what different students experienced with that for themselves as well as experiences that they have seen their clients have with this. It really is such a basic ‘common sense’ concept but so often difficult to do when one is caught up in the struggle and emotional about it.
Our homework for this week was a piggy back off of this exercise. We were to again think about this frustration that we were having, define what our perspective is about it, reframe our perspective and then take an action toward that reframe and be ready to share it next week. For me it was easy to come up with a frustration because we are in the process of moving across country and there are a lot of added stressors that come with a big move. I have been frustrated with feeling “gouged” or ‘taken’ by everyone…like we can’t ever get a break and be the one that comes our ahead. From the buyers, to the realtor, the movers and the insurance company…they all dig their claws in and take all they can get. My perspective is that we never get to be the one to come our ahead, we always get the raw end of the deal. My reframe is that I get to have a great adventure and that in the long run we are the ones getting the best bargain by this move as a whole. My action step toward this reframe is to be focused on the end result and how fortunate we are to be able to make this extraordinary move that will ultimate be for the betterment of our family.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Powerful Requests #1
The first class in this course was held on Wednesday, July 18, 2007. I was feeling overwhelmed at taking the class today because not only have I had a three week break from classes but I am also in the middle of a cross-country move. As I sit here taking my class I have four movers buzzing around extracting furniture from my home. I am excited about the new adventure that my family and I are embarking on but stressed out with the details and chaos of it all.
What makes a request powerful? It may have an element of stretching or challenging the client. It may mean stepping out of their comfort zone and take a risk. It moves the client into action rather than just talking about it. When a client moves into this area we as coaches need to hold the client accountable, checking in with them that they are moving forward. We can also acknowledge and enthuse them to keep them motivated and engaged in the challenge they are undergoing. We should also celebrate with them as they move through the smaller steps that they accomplish along their way to the big goal.
How can we help people to reflect on their experience to see what they have accomplished and get as much out of it as they can? Asking them to share what the experience was like for them, what happened as well as their reaction to it. Questions that we could ask to help the client really reflect and learn from the experience: “How did you feel about accomplishing that?” “Have you incurred any consequences or rewards because of this change?” “What assumptions did you make that empowered you and what assumptions did you make that hindered you?”
After Action Review – What were the actions? What did I learn? What could I do differently next time? Again this is a technique to look back at what the goal or challenge was and what was done and then what was learned in the situation.
Based on today’s class there is so much more to powerful requests that to just challenge the client into action…the more important part is to follow-up the challenge or ‘powerful request’ with an evaluation of sorts.
I feel like as a coach I do this quite well. I spend a good part of my coaching sessions going over what the client said they wanted to accomplish and reflecting on if they were able to do that and how they did it. The part that I need to improve on is the “What did you learn?” part.
What makes a request powerful? It may have an element of stretching or challenging the client. It may mean stepping out of their comfort zone and take a risk. It moves the client into action rather than just talking about it. When a client moves into this area we as coaches need to hold the client accountable, checking in with them that they are moving forward. We can also acknowledge and enthuse them to keep them motivated and engaged in the challenge they are undergoing. We should also celebrate with them as they move through the smaller steps that they accomplish along their way to the big goal.
How can we help people to reflect on their experience to see what they have accomplished and get as much out of it as they can? Asking them to share what the experience was like for them, what happened as well as their reaction to it. Questions that we could ask to help the client really reflect and learn from the experience: “How did you feel about accomplishing that?” “Have you incurred any consequences or rewards because of this change?” “What assumptions did you make that empowered you and what assumptions did you make that hindered you?”
After Action Review – What were the actions? What did I learn? What could I do differently next time? Again this is a technique to look back at what the goal or challenge was and what was done and then what was learned in the situation.
Based on today’s class there is so much more to powerful requests that to just challenge the client into action…the more important part is to follow-up the challenge or ‘powerful request’ with an evaluation of sorts.
I feel like as a coach I do this quite well. I spend a good part of my coaching sessions going over what the client said they wanted to accomplish and reflecting on if they were able to do that and how they did it. The part that I need to improve on is the “What did you learn?” part.
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